In many parts of the world, there is continuous coverage of sport on television. Some people believe this discourages the young from taking part in any sport themselves. Discuss this view and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Television has become the a common form of entertainmentstate of the art entertainment tool and people may subscribe to their preferred channels at a low cost. However, some critics warn that teens would not engage in sports once they start watching sports channelschannel fervently. I personally think that it depends on the young personit discourages sports-lovers to play games as the intrinsic issue is whether young people love sportthe youths love sports deeply. Firstly, television may alter the teenagers' interests because of the widespread coverage of sports programmes. For example, many youths in my country prefer watching sporting competitions than playing sport in real lifetaking sports in real life. This leads them to spendleads them spending more time in front of a TV set than taking part in outdoor activities. In contrast, young people who are sports fansyouths who are the fans of sports may not be influenced by television adversely. For example, a person who enjoys watchingfavours in watching Liverpool soccer team will be inspired by the team which appears on television and may wish to experience how they play soccer during a competition. In other words, the teenagers may start to get involved in sports due to their admiration fortheir admirations towards the sports team. Consequently, television may be a useful tool to arouse the interestinterests of teens in sportteens having sports. It is basic human natureIt is a basic human nature that they try to mimic something that they enjoy. According to this nature, someone who finds some sort of game interesting on TV would like to play it as well. The broadcast of sports on TV makes these games more popular in many countries and it is natural that people of these areas would spend more time playing these games. People mostly watch interesting and live sports rather than watching all the sports all the time. Sports channelschannel not only broadcast games, they also show programs that make critical analysis and shows the history of the games and these two aspects help the interested youths learn more about the games. While there are plenty of programs that could have negative impacts on the young generation, with the popularity of sports channels, young people watch sports more than those less harmful programsshort of negative programs. To conclude, the fundamental issue is whether the young treat themselves as spectators or athletes. In the case of the teens imagine themselves as spectators, television may dishearten them from taking part in sports but reversely, it may encourage the youth to start engaging in sports too.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response’s strongest feature is its consideration of both the discouraging and motivating effects of televised sport, supported by relevant examples. However, the position remains inconsistent, ideas repeat, and the single-block presentation makes shifts in the argument harder to follow. The highest-priority improvement is to state a clear overall view and organise two focused body paragraphs that each develop one side in support of that view.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay discusses both possible discouragement and encouragement and gives an opinion, but the position is sometimes unclear and the response becomes repetitive.
State whether you mostly agree or disagree, then use each paragraph to support that judgement.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is logical sequencing, but the essay is written as one long block and contains several abrupt shifts between ideas.
Separate the essay into an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Lexical Resource
There is some topic vocabulary, but collocations such as "take sports" and "admiration towards" are inaccurate.
Learn common sports collocations such as "play sport", "take part in sport", and "inspire young people".
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of sentence forms is attempted, but errors in articles, clauses, and verb patterns are frequent.
Edit long sentences into shorter clauses and check verb patterns after "prefer", "lead", and "encourage".
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In many parts of the world, there is continuous coverage of sport on television. Some people believe this discourages the young from taking part in any sport themselves. Discuss this view and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.