In many parts of the word, there is continuous coverage of sport on television. Some people believe this discourages the young from taking part in any sport themselves. Discuss this view and give your opinion.
Sample Response
NowadaysIn these days, sports channels telecast almost all major sports events from across the world. It has become a major source of revenue for many television networksa cash cow of many television networks. At this juncture, many people, including talented ones, are glued toglue to the television. Though it brings about great satisfactionan extreme satisfaction to viewers, many youngsters fail to participate in sports activitiesparticipate sports activities that are organised locallywhich are organised around. Firstly, sports events aired on the television consume a great deal of viewers' timedrain a great deal of time of viewers. To be more precise, discussions and commentarycritics along with the sports broadcastsepisodes waste valuable timethe valuable time of event watchers. Because of thisBy this problem, youngsters go to the ground once in a blue moon. Furthermore, many sports events such as Test cricket seriestest cricket serious take several dayscall for many days to reach the final stage. A viewer who watches this kind of sports event on television hardly getsget time to participate in other sportsparticipate other sports. To cite an example, world cup and cricket final telecasting time has become a holiday for many national and international stadium because of lack of participants. Secondly, television telecasts provide only theoretical knowledge of sports rather than practical knowledge. An inexperienced athleteunpracticed sportsman needs to pull his socks up to become a man of the match. In addition to that, a sportsman needs to hone his skills through continuous practiceby continuous practical exposure. Moreover, the athlete needsthey need to go the extra mile to become a national or international sports icon. Instead of paddle once own canoe, simply watch the sports event on the small screen does not facilitate to become a sports star. A recent sports magazine reports that the successful sportsman spent very less time to watch sports on television is the best epitome. By and large, I hold the view that the excess sports event watch on small screen badly affect the youngsters to come practical field. They enjoy events on the television as a piece of cake and they assume that the spot is a cake walk. Anyone who really wants to become a sports figureAnybody really needs to become sports figure, they must engage in the practical side of sportput up with is practical sides.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response maintains a clear opinion and offers two recognisable explanations for how extensive sports coverage may discourage participation, particularly the time it consumes. Its effectiveness is limited by implausible or unclear support, absent paragraphing, and frequent language errors that sometimes obscure the intended point. The priority is to organise the reasons into distinct paragraphs and develop each with a realistic, clearly expressed example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The view is addressed and an opinion is clear, but the two main reasons are unevenly developed and supported by questionable examples.
Explain each causal link more convincingly and use realistic evidence showing how television viewing reduces actual participation.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is an identifiable progression through two reasons and a conclusion, but the single-block presentation and mechanical linking weaken coherence.
Separate the introduction, each main reason, and the conclusion into focused paragraphs with clearer internal progression.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a broad vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate word choices, collocations, and forced idioms make expression unreliable.
Use fewer idioms and choose precise, conventional vocabulary for viewing habits, training, and sports participation.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some complex forms are attempted, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, verb patterns, and sentence construction sometimes impede meaning.
Build accurate simple and compound sentences first, focusing especially on subject-verb agreement and infinitive or gerund patterns.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In many parts of the word, there is continuous coverage of sport on television. Some people believe this discourages the young from taking part in any sport themselves. Discuss this view and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.