The only way to improve the safety on our own road is to have stricter punishment for driving offenders. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
In my opinion, one of the major causes of road accidents is the violation of traffic rules. The best way to keep the drivers to remain law obedient is to give them punishment for offensive driving and for breaking the traffic rules. According to me, the punishment must be very proportional to the mistake made. Life is very precious and many people die annually in traffic accidents and much more get severely injured. To avoid traffic accidents, the law must be very strict and vibrant. There are many scenarios of unlawfully driving. Young drivers seek pleasure with very high-speed driving. Some bike riders get enjoyment while driving on one wheel. Some drivers think that wearing the seat belt is putting a burden on their body. Few people even drive while they are drunk and they lose the good control on wheel and pedals. The only way to stop this lawlessness is to award the punishment. Punishment may be in the form of money, imprisonment, confiscation of licence, making the insurance high. There are wide varieties of offenders; some do it for the sake of thrills and others due to human error and negligence. I believe that when there is an element of human error, a warning is enough. If we impose a heavy fine for minor human errors then people will drive with anxiety and ultimately will lose confidence on wheels. My personal opinion is to educate the people before issuance of the licence. In temporary licensure period, drivers will learn about rules and regulation of roads, the negative effect of alcohol in driving, maintenance of the vehicle, own health, road safety etc. When someone will know about every bit of law and keeping in mind the consequences of violation then there will be least chances of offending the law and jeopardising of life. Life is very precious and state should frame every rule possible for the provision of ultimate security to road users. Firstly drivers should be educated then given a warning for minor human errors and lastly strict punishment for violation of rules.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct verb structure Original: keep the drivers to remain law obedient Suggested revision: ensure that drivers remain law-abiding Why it matters: Ensure that takes a finite clause, and law-abiding is the standard adjective.
- 2. Use concise verb Original: give them punishment Suggested revision: punish them Why it matters: Punish is the natural verb for imposing a penalty on offenders.
- 3. Use accurate term Original: offensive Suggested revision: dangerous Why it matters: Dangerous driving expresses the intended traffic offence more clearly.
- 4. Use natural stance phrase Original: According to me Suggested revision: In my view Why it matters: In my view is the more idiomatic phrase for introducing a personal opinion.
- 5. Use correct adjective Original: very proportional Suggested revision: proportionate Why it matters: Proportionate is the standard adjective for a penalty matched to an offence.
- 6. Fix count and voice Original: much more get Suggested revision: many more are Why it matters: People are countable, and the passive form are injured is required.
- 7. Choose relevant adjective Original: strict and vibrant Suggested revision: strict and effectively enforced Why it matters: Vibrant does not describe the implementation of a law, while effectively enforced does.
- 8. Use natural noun phrase Original: scenarios of unlawfully driving Suggested revision: forms of unlawful driving Why it matters: The replacement uses the correct adjective and a natural collocation.
- 9. Correct phrase structure Original: very high-speed driving Suggested revision: driving at very high speeds Why it matters: The revised phrase correctly expresses the manner and speed of driving.
- 10. Use natural collocation Original: get Suggested revision: derive Why it matters: Derive enjoyment is the standard collocation for obtaining pleasure from an activity.
- 11. Use indefinite article Original: the Suggested revision: a Why it matters: The first general reference to a countable seat belt requires a rather than the.
- 12. Fix number agreement Original: is putting a burden on their body Suggested revision: places a burden on their bodies Why it matters: The plural pronoun their requires the plural noun bodies.
Suggested Rewrites
- keep the drivers to remain law obedient ensure that drivers remain law-abiding
- give them punishment punish them
- offensive dangerous
- According to me In my view
- very proportional proportionate
- much more get many more are
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response offers a relevant, nuanced approach by distinguishing deliberate offences from human error and proposing education, warnings, and proportionate penalties. Its argument remains harder to follow because the exact extent of agreement emerges gradually and the entire essay is presented as one paragraph, while frequent collocational and grammatical errors reduce precision. State the position immediately and organise the reasoning into distinct, controlled paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response develops relevant ideas about proportional punishment, warnings, and education, but its degree of agreement with the claim is not consistently explicit.
State clearly at the outset that strict punishment is necessary for serious offences but is not the only safety measure, then sustain that position.
Coherence and Cohesion
The reasoning has a discernible sequence, but the single-paragraph format, repeated points, and list-like progression weaken organisation and cohesion.
Separate the essay into an introduction, distinct body paragraphs for punishment and education, and a concise conclusion.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range to discuss offences, penalties, licensing, and safety, but frequent inaccurate collocations make the wording unnatural.
Replace expressions such as award the punishment and lose confidence on wheels with precise, conventional road-safety language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses both simple and complex forms, but recurring errors with articles, agreement, count nouns, and clause construction limit accuracy.
Edit each sentence for article use and subject-verb agreement, and avoid overloaded structures when expressing cause and consequence.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
The only way to improve the safety on our own road is to have stricter punishment for driving offenders. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.