The only way to improve the safety on our own road is to have stricter punishment for driving offenders. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Many people think that the best way to improve road safety is by giving stricter punishmentspunishment to careless drivers. To a certain point, I would agree with the statement, but there are other methods that could also be used to improve it as imposing a stricter penalty, in my opinion, is not the only way to ensure safety on roads. On the one hand, it is true that imposing stricter penaltieshaving a stricter punishment and increasing the penalties for irresponsible drivers would reduce traffic accidents and improve road safety. For example, it is a fact that using a mobile phone while driving a car is a dangerous act. However, because of the lenient penaltydue to the light punishment, many people still use athe phone while driving. If the authoritiesShould the authority impose a harsher penaltychange the punishment into a heavier one, then people will thinkconsider twice before they use the phone while driving. Besides, a violation of any traffic ruleviolation of any traffic rule can lead to a severe accident and if the punishment is made sternmade a stern, people would likely obey them. On the other hand, there is another method that the government could use to improve road safetyuse in improving road safety besides having a stricter punishment. The government could runmake a campaign about safety driving through various media to showvarious media which would show the effect of careless driving. For instance, the government could make a safety video about road safety and upload it toin social media since the message can be spread effectivelywill be effectively spread in this kind of media. As more people watch these videosAs more people are watching these videos, it is hoped that drivers will have a clearer understanding of safe drivinga clearer view of safety driving. In conclusion, to a certain extent, I agree that having a stricter punishment would improve road safety. But I also believe that it should also be supported by other measuressupported with other ways, and one of them is by showing audiovisual materials about safe drivinggiving audio-visual shows about safety driving.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response states a clear qualified position and supports it with relevant discussion of penalties and public-awareness campaigns. Its main weakness is that the second solution is developed rather narrowly, while repetitive wording and recurring grammatical and collocational errors reduce precision and fluency. The highest-priority improvement is to develop each alternative with a clearer causal explanation and use more natural road-safety vocabulary in accurately controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear qualified position is maintained, and both stricter penalties and an alternative measure are relevantly explained and exemplified.
Develop the public-awareness solution further by explaining more precisely how it would change driver behaviour and reduce accidents.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses logically through two sides and a conclusion, but the single-block presentation and repeated linking patterns weaken paragraph-level organisation.
Divide the response into clear introduction, body, and conclusion paragraphs, with each body paragraph centred on one main idea.
Lexical Resource
The response has adequate topic vocabulary, but recurring unnatural collocations such as expressions about safe driving and heavier punishment reduce precision.
Use established road-safety collocations and check word form and phrasing when describing penalties, campaigns, and driver behaviour.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the argument clearly, although article, agreement, and sentence-structure errors recur.
Improve control of articles, singular-plural agreement, and complex clauses before attempting more elaborate sentence patterns.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The only way to improve the safety on our own road is to have stricter punishment for driving offenders. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.