The only way to improve the safety on our own road is to have stricter punishment for driving offenders. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
In my opinion, one of the major causes of road accidents is the violation of traffic rules. The best way to ensure that drivers remainkeep the drivers to remain law obedient is to punish themgive them punishment for dangerousoffensive driving and for breaking the traffic rules. In my viewAccording to me, the punishment must be proportionalvery proportional to the mistake made. Life is very precious and many people die annually in traffic accidents and many more are severely injuredmuch more get severely injured. To avoid traffic accidents, the law must be very strict and effectively enforcedstrict and vibrant. There are many forms of unlawful drivingscenarios of unlawfully driving. Young drivers seek thrills throughseek pleasure with driving at very high speedsvery high-speed driving. Some motorcyclistsSome bike riders enjoy riding on one wheelget enjoyment while driving on one wheel. Some drivers think that wearing athe seat belt is physically burdensomeputting a burden on their body. A few people even driveFew people even drive while they are drunk and they lose proper control of the steering wheel and pedalslose the good control on wheel and pedals. The only way to stop this lawlessness is to award the punishment. Punishment may be in the form of monetary finesin the form of money, imprisonment, confiscation of licence, higher insurance premiumsmaking the insurance high. There are a wide variety of offenderswide varieties of offenders; some do it for the sake of thrills and others due to human error and negligence. I believe that when there is an element of human error, a warning is enough. If we impose a heavy fine for minor human errors then people will drive with anxiety and ultimately will lose confidence behind the wheellose confidence on wheels. My personal opinion is to educate the people before issuance of the licence. In temporary licensure period, drivers will learn about rules and regulation of roads, the negative effect of alcohol in driving, maintenance of the vehicle, own health, road safety etc. When someone will know about every bit of law and keeping in mind the consequences of violation then there will be least chances of offending the law and jeopardising of life. Life is very precious and state should frame every rule possible for the provision of ultimate security to road users. Firstly drivers should be educated then given a warning for minor human errors and lastly strict punishment for violation of rules.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response offers a relevant range of road-safety measures and reaches a sensible graduated position, moving from education and warnings to proportionate penalties. Its main limitation is that the position on the claim that punishment is the only solution emerges unevenly, while the single-block organisation and frequent grammatical and collocational errors reduce control. State the degree of agreement clearly at the outset, then develop two focused, well-paragraphed arguments.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the claim through relevant discussion of penalties, warnings, and education, but its precise degree of agreement is initially inconsistent and several ideas remain general.
State the qualified position explicitly in the introduction and support each main measure with a developed explanation or example linked to safer roads.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas move broadly from offences to sanctions and preventive education, but the entire response forms one block and some linking is mechanical.
Separate the introduction, two distinct body arguments, and conclusion into paragraphs with clear topic sentences and controlled transitions.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a sufficient range of road-safety vocabulary, although recurrent unnatural collocations and imprecise choices weaken clarity and control.
Replace combinations such as law obedient and award the punishment with natural forms such as law-abiding and impose a penalty.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of simple and complex structures communicates the main ideas, but frequent article, agreement, preposition, and clause-construction errors reduce accuracy.
Proofread each sentence for articles, subject-verb agreement, and complete clause structure, especially when expressing conditions and future results.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The only way to improve the safety on our own road is to have stricter punishment for driving offenders. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.