Many people believe that inherent talent is more important than practice in many fields like sport or music. According to them great musicians and sportsmen are born and can’t be created. However, others claim that talent has little to do with success and any child can be taught to become a great sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
It is a frequently debated fact that some people are gifted with some abilities in their genetic, but the others do not have this kind of prodigiousness. By contrast, some people think that any person could be a successful musician or sportsman by education, practice and proper guideline.
On the one hand, each individual has a tendency on a specific field of art or a science. However, a minority of them are geniuses who show off a splendid success on their jobs. For instance, most of the investors, such as Einstein, Newton, Edison and Graham bell. They were geniuses and had genetically intellectual capacity much more than the other people. Furthermore, this kind of successful people could be seen in sports and music also. Messi and Mozart are the good examples for achieved sportsman and musician. Thus, some people could be more capable than the others in certain areas.
On the other hand, some people think that every child could be a successful person through education. In other words, success is behind the education, continuous practices and working hard. The abilities that people have do not provide a differentiation on the achievements of them. The difference among the people’s success is derived from the quality of education that they got. Thus, any person who were the same position and had a similar education would be able to indicate awesome performance.
Finally, each person has different kinds of abilities, skills, talents in different areas. The abilities, skills and tendencies of children detected in early ages and children should get an education in the fields that they have the tendency. Thus, both nurture and nature are effective on the success of people.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use issue noun Original: fact Suggested revision: issue Why it matters: The disagreement is an issue or question, not an established fact.
- 2. Fix genetic ability phrase Original: gifted with some abilities in their genetic Suggested revision: genetically gifted with certain abilities Why it matters: The adverb “genetically” must modify “gifted,” and “in their genetic” is ungrammatical.
- 3. Remove unnecessary article Original: the others do not Suggested revision: others do not Why it matters: Plural “others” is used generally here and does not take “the.”
- 4. Use natural talent phrase Original: this kind of prodigiousness Suggested revision: such exceptional talent Why it matters: “Exceptional talent” expresses the intended ability more naturally than “prodigiousness.”
- 5. Use present possibility Original: any person could be a successful Suggested revision: any person can become a successful Why it matters: The claim describes a present general possibility, and “become” emphasizes development through training.
- 6. Fix means and guidance Original: by education, practice and proper guideline Suggested revision: through education, practice and proper guidance Why it matters: Use “through” for the means of development and the uncountable noun “guidance.”
- 7. Use aptitude preposition Original: a tendency on a specific field Suggested revision: an aptitude for a specific field Why it matters: “Aptitude for” is the natural expression for ability in a field.
- 8. Keep fields parallel Original: art or a science Suggested revision: art or science Why it matters: The coordinated general fields should both appear without an article.
- 9. Use achievement collocation Original: show off a splendid success on their jobs Suggested revision: achieve outstanding success in their fields Why it matters: People achieve success in a field; they do not “show off” success on a job.
- 10. Use innate ability phrase Original: genetically Suggested revision: innate Why it matters: “Innate intellectual capacity” is the natural phrase for inborn cognitive ability.
- 11. Complete capacity comparison Original: much more than the other people Suggested revision: far greater than that of other people Why it matters: The comparison must contrast one capacity with the capacity of other people.
- 12. Fix demonstrative agreement Original: this kind of successful people Suggested revision: these successful people Why it matters: The plural noun “people” requires the plural demonstrative “these.”
Suggested Rewrites
- fact issue
- gifted with some abilities in their genetic genetically gifted with certain abilities
- the others do not others do not
- this kind of prodigiousness such exceptional talent
- any person could be a successful any person can become a successful
- by education, practice and proper guideline through education, practice and proper guidance
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response presents both perspectives in a clear paragraph structure and ultimately gives a relevant, balanced opinion. Its main limitation is that support is sometimes imprecise or only loosely relevant, while frequent awkward word choices and grammatical errors reduce fluency. The highest priority is to develop each view with directly relevant reasoning and examples expressed in accurate, natural language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views and the writer's opinion are addressed, but several supporting points are general, loosely relevant, or insufficiently explained.
Develop one precise reason and one directly relevant sport or music example for each view before reaching the opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses through a recognizable introduction, two-sided discussion, and conclusion, although links within ideas can be mechanical or abrupt.
Use complete topic-led paragraphs and make the logical relationship between each example and its main claim explicit.
Lexical Resource
There is some range and an attempt at less common vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices weaken precision.
Replace unnatural phrases such as "success is behind the education" with simpler, conventional academic wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of simple and complex structures is attempted, but frequent article, agreement, preposition, and sentence-completion errors reduce control.
Prioritize complete sentence structures and systematically check subject-verb agreement, articles, and prepositions during revision.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people believe that inherent talent is more important than practice in many fields like sport or music. According to them great musicians and sportsmen are born and can’t be created. However, others claim that talent has little to do with success and any child can be taught to become a great sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.