Many people believe that inherent talent is more important than practice in many fields like sport or music. According to them great musicians and sportsmen are born and can’t be created. However, others claim that talent has little to do with success and any child can be taught to become a great sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Throughout the enormous capacity of human history, we came across countless people with extraordinary talents in art, music, sport, science and so on. However, of all these experts, some are innate with a precious gift while others were acquired, trained when they were children. Nevertheless, success is often combined with many factors including environments, the extent of practice, training methods, and indubitably, a certain level of talents. Therefore, I believe in congenital talents, which, to say the least, are the essential element to success. Mozart, an exceptional musician, showed his superb music talent when he was only three and was able to complete an exquisite symphony as he turned six. Susan Boyle, an ordinary middle-aged woman who never received any professional training as an opera singer, was able to earn a deafening standing ovation from the whole podium by singing "I had a dream", a song which would require a professional singer to pour their genuine devotion in order to reach perfection. A genetic research indicated that up to 50% of the great artists we came to recognise were born with supreme talents. These prodigies are sometimes so unfairly gifted that they will leave a ghastly gap between those who were trained to be professional and were not supposed to be outrun single-handedly. Nevertheless, people still claimed that anyone can be trained to become a professional. Jeremy Lin, a rising NBA basketball player who created "Linsanity", had grabbed the sheer opportunity to success by polishing his skills and training ever since he was a child and committed his dedication in basketball no matter what difficulty that lied ahead. Yo Yo Ma, a phenomenal musician, started his cellist training when he was only four and immersed his whole dedication into it throughout his life. These people's success is not instantaneous. Their paths to glory were established through hard work, accompanied by consistent training and still, a certain degree of innate talents. To put into conclusion, the genetic privilege could not be fooled. Whether acquired or congenital, people will always need some talent to help them reach from good to great.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural phrasing Original: Throughout the enormous capacity of human history Suggested revision: Throughout human history Why it matters: The original phrase uses 'capacity' in a way that does not fit this time reference.
- 2. Correct the tense Original: we came across Suggested revision: we have come across Why it matters: The present perfect is needed for experience extending across history to the present.
- 3. Choose precise preposition Original: of Suggested revision: among Why it matters: 'Among' is the natural choice when distinguishing members of a group.
- 4. Correct the construction Original: innate Suggested revision: born Why it matters: People are born with a gift; they are not 'innate with' one.
- 5. Restore the subject meaning Original: others were acquired, trained Suggested revision: others acquired their abilities through training Why it matters: The original passive construction incorrectly suggests that the people themselves were acquired.
- 6. Use precise wording Original: environments Suggested revision: environmental factors Why it matters: 'Environmental factors' expresses the intended influences more precisely.
- 7. Use uncountable noun Original: talents Suggested revision: talent Why it matters: 'Talent' is uncountable when referring generally to ability.
- 8. Clarify the claim Original: believe in congenital talents Suggested revision: believe that innate talent matters Why it matters: This wording states the writer's position more directly and naturally.
- 9. Fix article and preposition Original: the essential element to success Suggested revision: an essential element of success Why it matters: One factor among several is 'an' element 'of' success.
- 10. Use adjective form Original: music Suggested revision: musical Why it matters: The adjective 'musical' should modify 'talent'.
- 11. Clarify the timeline Original: as he turned six Suggested revision: by the time he turned six Why it matters: This phrase clearly shows that the achievement had occurred by that age.
- 12. Name the audience Original: whole podium Suggested revision: entire audience Why it matters: A podium is a platform, whereas the people applauding are the audience.
Suggested Rewrites
- Throughout the enormous capacity of human history Throughout human history
- we came across we have come across
- of among
- innate born
- others were acquired, trained others acquired their abilities through training
- environments environmental factors
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response’s strongest feature is its clear position, supported by relevant examples for both the talent and practice perspectives. Its main limitation is that ambitious vocabulary and complex sentences are often handled imprecisely, while the lack of paragraph breaks weakens the presentation of an otherwise logical argument. The highest priority is to organise the two views into distinct paragraphs and use more natural, accurately controlled phrasing when explaining each example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed with a clear opinion and several relevant examples, although some support relies more on assertion than analysis.
Explain more explicitly how each example proves the relative importance of talent or sustained practice.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a recognisable progression, but presenting the entire response as one block obscures the separation between the two views.
Use distinct introduction, viewpoint, and conclusion paragraphs with clearer internal topic sentences.
Lexical Resource
A broad and ambitious vocabulary conveys the argument, though frequent unnatural collocations and imprecise word choices reduce accuracy.
Prefer natural combinations such as innate talent and dedication to training, and check that formal words fit their exact context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures, but recurring problems with agreement, tense, articles, and clause construction weaken control.
Edit complex sentences for consistent tense and complete grammatical relationships before adding further elaboration.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people believe that inherent talent is more important than practice in many fields like sport or music. According to them great musicians and sportsmen are born and can’t be created. However, others claim that talent has little to do with success and any child can be taught to become a great sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.