Many people believe that inherent talent is more important than practice in many fields like sport or music. According to them great musicians and sportsmen are born and can’t be created. However, others claim that talent has little to do with success and any child can be taught to become a great sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
In today's modern world, we are constantly bombarded with the idea that those who achieve success in their careers or studies are born with certain talents. Some people, however, are of the opinion that every child can be as talented as them as they assert that children nowadays can be sent to classes to learn the required technique. Thus, we will examine both sides of the arguments before reaching a reasonable conclusion.
Admittedly, some people seem to be more talented than others due to the extraordinary achievements they have ever had which then leads to the belief that they are born with a specific talent. They can pick up or learn new things that they have not been exposed to in the certain field, for example, sports or music, much faster than others. It is also believed that parents who have mastered the skills in sports, then their children are more likely to be born with such skills as well. Hence, the children are, normally, able to achieve their aspirations easier than others, in other words, they do not need to work so hard like other people do in order to succeed in their careers or studies.
Nevertheless, it does not mean that other people who do not bear with such talents will certainly fail to reach their targets. I believe everyone can be as successful as those who are skilled and talented provided that they are willing to be more dedicated in making attempts to strike their goals. According to the statistic of a recent research conducted in Malaysia, it has shown that about 75% of the people are not born with specific talents but they are still managed to pay extra attentions to their weaknesses and made a change in order to become successful in a certain career. Therefore, it is apparent that although the majority of people worldwide are not born with talents, due to their patience and endurance, they have stricken their targeted goal.
In conclusion, I believe that every individual around the globe can still achieve their aspirations regardless of their talents as long as they are willing to pay more hard works than others. Our nation will surely to continue to prosper and flourish in the decades to come if there are more citizens who become successful in their careers.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove time redundancy Original: In today's modern world Suggested revision: In today's world Why it matters: ‘Today's’ already identifies the modern period, so ‘modern’ is redundant.
- 2. Use measured wording Original: constantly bombarded with the idea Suggested revision: constantly exposed to the idea Why it matters: ‘Exposed to’ conveys repeated contact without the exaggerated metaphor ‘bombarded’.
- 3. Use singular debate Original: arguments Suggested revision: argument Why it matters: The essay discusses the two sides of one central argument.
- 4. Clarify the evidence Original: due to the extraordinary achievements they have ever had Suggested revision: because of their extraordinary achievements Why it matters: The revision removes the unnatural present-perfect phrase and states the reason directly.
- 5. Match plural antecedent Original: leads Suggested revision: lead Why it matters: The relative pronoun refers to plural ‘achievements’, so the verb must be plural.
- 6. Use innate talent term Original: born with a specific talent Suggested revision: born with an innate talent Why it matters: ‘Innate’ precisely describes a talent present from birth.
- 7. Correct article choice Original: exposed to in the certain field Suggested revision: exposed to in a particular field Why it matters: An unspecified field takes ‘a particular’, not ‘the certain’.
- 8. Use integrated examples Original: for example, sports or music Suggested revision: such as sports or music Why it matters: ‘Such as’ integrates the examples into the noun phrase more smoothly.
- 9. Remove misplaced commas Original: the children are, normally, able Suggested revision: the children are normally able Why it matters: The adverb ‘normally’ should not be enclosed by commas in this clause.
- 10. Use comparative adverb Original: achieve their aspirations easier Suggested revision: achieve their aspirations more easily Why it matters: The verb ‘achieve’ must be modified by the adverbial form ‘more easily’.
- 11. Fix comma splice Original: others, in other words Suggested revision: others; in other words Why it matters: A semicolon separates the complete clause from the explanatory transition.
- 12. Use equality comparison Original: work so hard like other people do Suggested revision: work as hard as other people do Why it matters: The comparison of equal degree requires ‘as … as’.
Suggested Rewrites
- In today's modern world In today's world
- constantly bombarded with the idea constantly exposed to the idea
- arguments argument
- due to the extraordinary achievements they have ever had because of their extraordinary achievements
- leads lead
- born with a specific talent born with an innate talent
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response discusses both perspectives and states a consistent belief that dedication can overcome limited natural ability, with the two-sided paragraph structure as its strongest feature. However, supporting claims are often vague or implausibly sourced, the final national-prosperity sentence is off-topic, and frequent language errors strain clarity. Prioritise credible sport or music examples and express the practice-versus-talent comparison in simpler, accurate sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views and a clear opinion are presented, but examples are weakly substantiated and the conclusion introduces an irrelevant national point.
Use a credible musician or athlete example to compare natural aptitude with sustained practice and remove the off-topic final claim.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear two-sided structure and broadly logical progression, though several sentences contain overloaded or unclear links.
Keep each paragraph focused on one claim and split long explanations into shorter cause-and-effect steps.
Lexical Resource
There is an ambitious range of vocabulary, but frequent incorrect collocations and word forms make expression unnatural.
Replace phrases such as 'bear with talents', 'strike their goals', and 'pay more hard works' with precise standard expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex forms are frequently attempted, but persistent errors in tense, agreement, plurals, and clause structure reduce clarity.
Prioritise accurate verb patterns and noun forms before constructing multi-clause sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people believe that inherent talent is more important than practice in many fields like sport or music. According to them great musicians and sportsmen are born and can’t be created. However, others claim that talent has little to do with success and any child can be taught to become a great sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.