Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. However, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool, which is why children are less well-educated today. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
Sample Response
The main reason of poor education quality among children nowadays is that they spend a lot of their time watching television programmes and do things that are remotely connected to quality education. I completely agree with the statement that television cannot replace the book as a learning tool as it is far less educative and far more addictive. Firstly, television cannot replace books as learning materials owing to the fact that children often misuse television in the disappearance of parents. For instance, educative programs are less attractive than the cartoon shows and other programs children prefer to watch. While there are lots of educative and suitable programs, it is not unusual that a child would prefer to watch programs that entertain more than educating. Another reason television is not as suitable as a book because when children learn through television then their focus will be on audio-visual presentation, not in learning. Whereas if they follow books then they focus on books and the lessons it offers. It is often heard that many children watch TV for long hours and that is detrimental to their health. Television programs are addictive and many children do not concentrate on other important things like study or outdoor activity when they become addicted to watching TV programs. Finally, television cannot replace the book as learning tool due to television might be a tool that would be wastage of time. However, if children spend more time in reading books there is no chance of wastage of time. The primary focus of television is entertaining people while books are considered as the cornerstone of knowledge and wisdom. To conclusion, although television is more entertaining than books, it cannot become a great tool for education as books are for children. The book is still the most appropriate learning tool and the television can never replace it terms of child’s education.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct noun phrase Original: reason of poor education quality Suggested revision: reason for the poor quality of education Why it matters: “Reason” takes “for,” and the revised noun phrase is grammatically complete.
- 2. Express the intended contrast Original: remotely connected to quality education Suggested revision: unrelated to quality education Why it matters: “Remotely connected” means weakly connected, whereas the argument describes activities unrelated to education.
- 3. Use standard adjective Original: educative Suggested revision: educational Why it matters: “Educational” is the more natural adjective for something that supports learning.
- 4. Correct expression Original: disappearance Suggested revision: absence Why it matters: “In the absence of” correctly means when parents are not present.
- 5. Use concise connector Original: owing to the fact that Suggested revision: because Why it matters: “Because” expresses the same causal link more directly.
- 6. Remove unnecessary article Original: the cartoon shows Suggested revision: cartoon shows Why it matters: The plural noun is used generally, so it does not need “the.”
- 7. Use parallel verbs Original: programs that entertain more than educating Suggested revision: programs that entertain rather than educate Why it matters: “Entertain” and “educate” need parallel verb forms after “rather than.”
- 8. Use parallel activities Original: things like study or outdoor activity Suggested revision: activities such as studying or spending time outdoors Why it matters: The revision uses parallel forms and expresses both activities naturally.
- 9. Avoid repetition Original: when they become addicted to watching TV programs Suggested revision: when they become addicted to watching it Why it matters: The pronoun avoids repeating “TV programs” without changing the meaning.
- 10. Repair conditional clause Original: if children spend more time in reading books there is no chance of wastage of time Suggested revision: if children spend more time reading books, they are unlikely to waste time Why it matters: The revision corrects the verb pattern, adds the clause boundary, and replaces the awkward noun phrase.
- 11. Improve purpose phrasing Original: focus of television is entertaining people Suggested revision: purpose of television is to entertain people Why it matters: “Purpose” with an infinitive states the intended function more naturally.
- 12. Remove incorrect preposition Original: considered as the cornerstone Suggested revision: considered the cornerstone Why it matters: “Considered” takes a direct complement here and does not require “as.”
Suggested Rewrites
- reason of poor education quality reason for the poor quality of education
- remotely connected to quality education unrelated to quality education
- educative educational
- disappearance absence
- owing to the fact that because
- the cartoon shows cartoon shows
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear position and gives several relevant reasons why books are more effective learning tools, including concentration, educational value, and television addiction. Its main limitation is that these points are repetitive and presented in one undivided paragraph, while frequent grammatical and collocational errors reduce polish. The priority is to organise two distinct, fully explained reasons into separate body paragraphs and edit sentence structures carefully.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear agreement is sustained and supported with relevant reasons, although some ideas repeat the same education-versus-entertainment contrast rather than developing it further.
Select two distinct reasons and deepen each with a precise explanation of how it leads to poorer educational outcomes.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a recognisable sequence, but the absence of paragraphing and reliance on mechanical transitions make progression less effective.
Use an introduction, two focused body paragraphs, and a conclusion, with each body paragraph centred on one controlling idea.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate and sometimes varied, but inaccurate phrases and repeated wording about education, entertainment, and replacement limit precision.
Use more accurate collocations such as in the absence of parents, educational programmes, and a waste of time while reducing repetition.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts complex structures, but frequent errors with clause formation, prepositions, articles, and sentence boundaries affect accuracy.
Revise causal and comparative structures so every sentence has a complete main clause and correctly chosen connectors and prepositions.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. However, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool, which is why children are less well-educated today. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.