Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. However, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool, which is why children are less well-educated today. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
Sample Response
In the current world, visual media has a huge presence across the globe. Television is being widely used as a supplement for education by students. In my opinion, books can never be replaced by television as a means of learning gadget. This can be proven by analysing how books have the advantage that they can focus on a particular subject deeply as well as provide time flexibility. It is apparent that a particular book focuses on a specific subject. As most of the programs in the television are sponsored by an organisation, advertisement runs at regular intervals between the programs the people watch. In the case of books, advertisements are very rare and thus there are limited distractions on learning a subject. Moreover, we can turn back the pages we have covered, if any doubt arises reading the further topics. As per the report released on 25th September 2015, by the Week magazine, 90% of the school students prefer books over the television for educational purposes. Thus books have an edge over television. Television programmes are aimed to entertain people when there are very few educative channels for students. Moreover, there is no surety that a student would spend his time in front of the TV productively. Another important advantage books have is the ability of the readers to choose the time to read as per their convenience. It is a fact that some students like to read in the early morning while some others in the evening, so that they have maximum concentration. But in case of television, unless we have digital storage devices like DVD or USB drive; it is not possible to play as we need. Furthermore, most of the television programmes have a schedule and the students need to be punctual in case they need to attend it. It is obvious that book gives the users to plan their time as per their wish. As a conclusion, it is obvious that books have an advantage over television, as it provides deeper concentration on the subjects and better time management. It is predicted that a few subjects, which requires visual effect to understand, may choose television as a mean of the learning tool.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural time phrase Original: current Suggested revision: modern Why it matters: Modern world is the natural expression for present-day society.
- 2. Remove wordiness Original: has a huge presence across the globe Suggested revision: is widespread Why it matters: The concise adjective conveys the same global prevalence.
- 3. Clarify educational role Original: a supplement for education by students Suggested revision: an educational supplement for students Why it matters: The revision uses the natural noun phrase and correct preposition.
- 4. Use learning tool Original: a means of learning gadget Suggested revision: a learning tool Why it matters: The original phrase combines two incompatible noun constructions.
- 5. Correct medium preposition Original: programs in the television Suggested revision: programmes on television Why it matters: Programmes appear on television, and the British spelling matches the essay.
- 6. Use plural agreement Original: advertisement runs Suggested revision: advertisements run Why it matters: Advertisements are countable here and require a plural verb.
- 7. Correct distraction phrase Original: limited distractions on learning Suggested revision: fewer distractions from learning Why it matters: Countable distractions takes fewer, and the correct preposition is from.
- 8. Use return collocation Original: turn back the pages Suggested revision: turn back to the pages Why it matters: The phrase requires to when referring to previously read pages.
- 9. Clarify the condition Original: if any doubt arises reading the further topics Suggested revision: if questions arise while reading later topics Why it matters: The revision uses natural plural nouns and supplies the missing time connector.
- 10. Use academic reporting phrase Original: As per the report Suggested revision: According to the report Why it matters: According to is the standard phrase for attributing information to a report.
- 11. Fix date and commas Original: 25th September 2015, by the Week magazine Suggested revision: 25 September 2015 by The Week magazine Why it matters: The formal date needs no ordinal suffix, and the comma must not separate the agent phrase.
- 12. Remove unnecessary article Original: over the television Suggested revision: over television Why it matters: Television takes no article when referring to the medium generally.
Suggested Rewrites
- current modern
- has a huge presence across the globe is widespread
- a supplement for education by students an educational supplement for students
- a means of learning gadget a learning tool
- programs in the television programmes on television
- advertisement runs advertisements run
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response's strongest feature is its clear preference for books, supported by relevant comparisons involving concentration, review, and flexible study time. Its main limitation is that it largely compares the two media without fully explaining how children's television habits make them less well-educated, and frequent language errors reduce polish. The highest priority is to connect each comparison directly to educational outcomes while using shorter, more accurate sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and several relevant advantages of books are developed, but the claimed effect on children's education is not examined directly enough.
Explain how time spent watching television affects learning quality or attainment, rather than only showing that books have practical advantages.
Coherence and Cohesion
The sequence from focus and distraction to scheduling is broadly logical, although the single-block presentation and some repetitive transitions weaken organisation.
Divide the reasoning into clear body paragraphs, each centred on one distinct educational advantage of books.
Lexical Resource
The response uses an adequate range of education and media vocabulary, but awkward collocations and imprecise word choices recur.
Replace expressions such as learning gadget and deeper concentration with natural phrases such as learning resource and sustained concentration.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of sentence forms is attempted, but frequent errors in articles, agreement, prepositions, punctuation, and clause construction reduce control.
Check subject-verb agreement and article use, then simplify sentences whose clauses cannot be joined accurately.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. However, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool, which is why children are less well-educated today. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.