Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to and exchange of information. Far from being beneficial, this is a danger to our societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
It is true that with the rapid development of technology, people have unlimited access to various information and exchange database freely these days. Despite all benefits, some people believe that it is harmful and dangerous for our communities. To a certain point I would agree that it could be dangerous, but if we have proper control over technological use then it would be useful from many aspects. On one hand, the advance development of modern technology has allowed people to gain access to so many websites, database, and information hub and to exchange them. All governments and companies are using computer technology to store and maintain their confidential information these days. Certain people believe that the development is dangerous for our societies as it could be misused for any crime activities. For example, a computer hacker might have access to a bank information system and use a person's credit card number. In another case, the hacker might steal top secret information from the government and sell them to the terrorists. Despite all the treats, the easy access to information system has brought countless benefits to the humankind. Firstly, with the development of the internet technology, scientists could effectively perform their research. By having access to so many websites, it has saved a lot of the scientists’ time when they have to investigate things, rather than to go to the library and search for books and journals. Secondly, with the easy access to information system, it also helps students in learning new things. In the past, students only got information through books, but these days they can learn from various platforms. For example, when they want to learn new things, they can also learn from another format such as video. There are thousands of free video websites such as YouTube and Vimeo, where they can access them and find some informative lessons. Having central databases of citizens is a great way for the government to tackle illegal immigration, crime and social problems. In conclusion, to a certain extent, I would agree that the easy access to various information and exchange of database could be harmful to the humankind. However, I also believe that this development also brings a lot of benefits to the societies, as scientists have become more effective in doing their researches. I personally believe that the government should have a strict regulation about the access and design a proper control system which would prevent the misuse of the information.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use uncountable quantifier Original: various information Suggested revision: a wide range of information Why it matters: “Information” is uncountable and cannot be modified directly by “various” in this construction.
- 2. Use correct data noun Original: exchange database freely Suggested revision: freely exchange data Why it matters: “Data” names the information being exchanged, while “database” is a countable storage system.
- 3. Add definite article Original: Despite all benefits Suggested revision: Despite all the benefits Why it matters: The specific benefits under discussion require the definite article.
- 4. Remove redundant adjectives Original: harmful and dangerous Suggested revision: dangerous Why it matters: The two adjectives overlap in meaning, so one precise term is sufficient.
- 5. Fix stance expression Original: To a certain point I would agree Suggested revision: To a certain extent, I agree Why it matters: The fixed expression is “to a certain extent”, followed by a comma, and the direct present tense is appropriate.
- 6. Clarify control phrase Original: proper control over technological use Suggested revision: appropriate controls on technology use Why it matters: The plural noun and preposition form a more natural expression for regulatory measures.
- 7. Use natural expression Original: useful from many aspects Suggested revision: useful in many ways Why it matters: “Useful in many ways” is the standard expression for multiple benefits.
- 8. Complete connector Original: On one hand Suggested revision: On the one hand Why it matters: The paired contrast connector requires the definite article “the”.
- 9. Use correct word form Original: advance development Suggested revision: rapid advancement Why it matters: “Advance” is not the appropriate adjective here; “advancement” names technological progress.
- 10. Use parallel plurals Original: so many websites, database, and information hub Suggested revision: many websites, databases, and information hubs Why it matters: All three countable items in the general list should be plural.
- 11. Clarify object reference Original: and to exchange them Suggested revision: and to exchange information Why it matters: The pronoun cannot logically refer to websites and databases as things being exchanged.
- 12. Use natural collocation Original: any crime activities Suggested revision: criminal activity Why it matters: “Criminal activity” is the standard uncountable expression for crime in general.
Suggested Rewrites
- various information a wide range of information
- exchange database freely freely exchange data
- Despite all benefits Despite all the benefits
- harmful and dangerous dangerous
- To a certain point I would agree To a certain extent, I agree
- proper control over technological use appropriate controls on technology use
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response’s strongest feature is its relevant, qualified argument that information access brings research, educational, and governmental benefits when misuse is controlled. Its main limitation is presentation and language control: the entire 411-word response is one paragraph, and recurring grammatical and lexical errors make several explanations cumbersome. The highest priority is to organise risks, benefits, and safeguards into distinct paragraphs and express each point with accurate, concise information-technology vocabulary.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
A clear qualified position is developed through relevant dangers and multiple benefits, with regulation proposed as the condition for safe access.
Explain how the proposed controls would preserve legitimate access while preventing hacking, data theft, and misuse rather than stating regulation generally.
Coherence and Cohesion
The reasoning has a discernible risks–benefits–solution sequence, but the complete absence of paragraphing and repetitive transitions substantially weaken organisation.
Separate the introduction, dangers, benefits, and conclusion into four paragraphs, grouping the research and education examples under one central claim.
Lexical Resource
The response uses an adequate range of technology and information vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and countability choices reduce precision.
Use standard phrases such as ‘access information’, ‘exchange data’, ‘databases’, ‘cybercrime’, ‘confidential records’, and ‘conduct research’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of structures is attempted, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, pronouns, plurals, and clause construction remain noticeable.
Remove unclear dummy subjects and check noun–verb agreement, especially in sentences beginning ‘access to websites saves scientists time’ and ‘information systems help students’.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to and exchange of information. Far from being beneficial, this is a danger to our societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.