Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. How far do you agree or disagree with the above views?
Sample Response
Every one yearn for a well-paid and comfortable job. However, those ‘people suppose to reach they goal either to get a good certificate or learn from work. In my personally angle, the two methods are basically no differences in learning working experiences to guarantee to get a good job.
To begin with, complete a course of university education capable of ensure a standard of knowledge to a certain position of work. It is the comfort way to guarantee a high-rank and high-salaries job. But this kind of situation is varies from person to person. Not everyone will stay for long if they are incompatible with the job. To be specify, some graduates do not combine theories and practice together. In other words they effort to spend their university time to get their certificate, but not to learn knowledge from university. Moreover, university education equip with abilities, to give students course that relate with another field, they hardly touch in daily life.
As the proverb goes it is best learn by doing. Practical ability is the key to a employee to consider his promotion, especially those who gain experience from the world of work. They’ll mater those skill easily by knowing working place.
Actually, learn from school and working are basically the same because of the both are the places to acquire knowledge. Knowledge from books is transformed from practical ability. As for learn from workplace, knowledge is accumulated and summerized from practical experiences. Reasons for employee to hire employee is employee can provides their labour hours and their skill to help company generate profit. in return company give them a sum of money.
To be conclude, practical experience and ability is the key to guarantee a good job. Complete a course in university and start work after school to gain experience both can make it. However knowledge and ability they equip with to guarantee them to get a good job is different from person to person.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix spelling and agreement Original: Every one yearn Suggested revision: Everyone yearns Why it matters: 'Everyone' is one word and takes a singular present-tense verb.
- 2. Choose a natural adjective Original: comfort way Suggested revision: more secure way Why it matters: 'Secure' expresses the intended idea of a reliable route to employment.
- 3. Remove extra auxiliary Original: is varies Suggested revision: varies Why it matters: The present-simple verb does not take 'is.'
- 4. Use correct signpost Original: To be specify Suggested revision: Specifically Why it matters: The adverb 'specifically' correctly introduces a more precise explanation.
- 5. Use parallel nouns Original: theories Suggested revision: theory Why it matters: The established contrast uses the two uncountable nouns 'theory' and 'practice.'
- 6. Fix verb structure Original: they effort to spend their university time to get their certificate Suggested revision: they spend their university time trying to obtain their certificate Why it matters: 'Effort' cannot function as the main verb in this construction.
- 7. Fix verb agreement Original: university education equip Suggested revision: university education equips students Why it matters: The singular subject requires 'equips,' and the verb needs an object.
- 8. Add preposition and plural Original: students course Suggested revision: students with courses Why it matters: 'Give' takes the recipient followed by 'with' in this intended construction, and multiple courses are meant.
- 9. Fix collocation Original: relate with another field Suggested revision: relate to other fields Why it matters: The verb collocates with 'to,' and the general reference requires a plural noun.
- 10. Add infinitive marker Original: it is best learn by doing Suggested revision: it is best to learn by doing Why it matters: The adjective construction requires a to-infinitive.
- 11. Correct the article Original: a Suggested revision: an Why it matters: Use 'an' before a vowel sound.
- 12. Fix spelling and number Original: They’ll mater those skill Suggested revision: They’ll master those skills Why it matters: 'Master' is misspelled, and 'those' requires a plural noun.
Suggested Rewrites
- Every one yearn Everyone yearns
- comfort way more secure way
- is varies varies
- To be specify Specifically
- theories theory
- they effort to spend their university time to get their certificate they spend their university time trying to obtain their certificate
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response's strongest feature is its attempt to compare university learning with workplace experience and reach a qualified conclusion. However, the position shifts in emphasis and many supporting statements remain difficult to follow because ideas and language are insufficiently controlled. The most important improvement is to build two clearly contrasted arguments, support each with a concrete example, and express them in shorter, grammatically complete sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay discusses both routes to employment, but its position is not fully consistent and several ideas are insufficiently explained.
State one precise degree of agreement and develop each route with a clear reason and a relevant real-world example.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing separates the broad topics, yet progression within paragraphs is uneven and connections between claims are often unclear.
Organize each body paragraph around one controlling idea followed by explanation, example, and a direct link to job prospects.
Lexical Resource
There is some topic-related vocabulary, but frequent spelling errors, repetition, and inaccurate collocations often obscure the intended meaning.
Use a smaller set of accurate employment and education terms, and check spelling and word form before attempting less familiar vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Errors in sentence formation, agreement, articles, verb patterns, and plurals occur throughout and sometimes impede comprehension.
Write shorter subject-verb-object sentences first, then combine only those clauses whose grammar and relationship are clear.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. How far do you agree or disagree with the above views?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.