Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. How far do you agree or disagree with the above views?
Sample Response
Everyone yearnsEvery one yearn for a well-paid and comfortable job. However, those ‘people suppose to reach they goal either to get a good certificate or learn from work. In my personally angle, the two methods are basically no differences in learning working experiences to guarantee to get a good job.
To begin with, complete a course of university education capable of ensure a standard of knowledge to a certain position of work. It is the more secure waycomfort way to guarantee a high-rank and high-salaries job. But this kind of situation variesis varies from person to person. Not everyone will stay for long if they are incompatible with the job. SpecificallyTo be specify, some graduates do not combine theorytheories and practice together. In other words they spend their university time trying to obtain their certificatethey effort to spend their university time to get their certificate, but not to learn knowledge from university. Moreover, university education equips studentsuniversity education equip with abilities, to give students with coursesstudents course that relate to other fieldsrelate with another field, they hardly touch in daily life.
As the proverb goes it is best to learn by doingit is best learn by doing. Practical ability is the key to ana employee to consider his promotion, especially those who gain experience from the world of work. They’ll master those skillsThey’ll mater those skill easily by knowing working place.
Actually, learning at school and workinglearn from school and working are basically the same because both are placesbecause of the both are the places to acquire knowledge. Knowledge from books is transformed from practical ability. As for learning in the workplaceAs for learn from workplace, knowledge is accumulated and summarisedsummerized from practical experiences. The reason an employer hires an employee is that the employee can provideReasons for employee to hire employee is employee can provides their labour hours and their skill to help company generate profit. in return company give them a sum of money.
To be conclude, practical experience and ability is the key to guarantee a good job. Complete a course in university and start work after school to gain experience both can make it. However knowledge and ability they equip with to guarantee them to get a good job is different from person to person.
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response's strongest feature is its attempt to compare university learning with workplace experience and reach a qualified conclusion. However, the position shifts in emphasis and many supporting statements remain difficult to follow because ideas and language are insufficiently controlled. The most important improvement is to build two clearly contrasted arguments, support each with a concrete example, and express them in shorter, grammatically complete sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay discusses both routes to employment, but its position is not fully consistent and several ideas are insufficiently explained.
State one precise degree of agreement and develop each route with a clear reason and a relevant real-world example.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing separates the broad topics, yet progression within paragraphs is uneven and connections between claims are often unclear.
Organize each body paragraph around one controlling idea followed by explanation, example, and a direct link to job prospects.
Lexical Resource
There is some topic-related vocabulary, but frequent spelling errors, repetition, and inaccurate collocations often obscure the intended meaning.
Use a smaller set of accurate employment and education terms, and check spelling and word form before attempting less familiar vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Errors in sentence formation, agreement, articles, verb patterns, and plurals occur throughout and sometimes impede comprehension.
Write shorter subject-verb-object sentences first, then combine only those clauses whose grammar and relationship are clear.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. How far do you agree or disagree with the above views?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.