Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. How far do you agree or disagree with the above views?
Sample Response
A large number of people argue that starting workstarting out to work just after high school is very beneficial for gaining experiencevery beneficial of experiencing in the work environment, whereas others believewhereas the other believe that people will have better job prospectsbrighter jobs after completing a university educationas if finishing of university education. In this essay, I would like to discuss the two views and present my own view on the issuespread my own thought for the issue.
Many people say that finding employment in workplacesapplying to employ at workplace such as shops and companies after schoolafter the school helps people earn money quicklyhelps people quickly earning money and probably supportingcovering themselves. However, usually they just can approach at general or average wage levels as lack of professional expertise, so what is happening if they are marriage while their salary is just enough for their own life. Furthermore, they might even bemight be even in trouble when they get sick or retireentire.
People working after school can gain real work experienceabsorb real experience work from what they are doing. AlthoughNevertheless although we can be expertsexpert in our work, we are just good at one part of the whole production processthe entire production. In contrast, after completing a university educationas completing university education, we can see the bigger pictureoversee a general whole picture so that we will make better decisionscome to better decision for our future jobs. It is usually to see that people who is graduated or higher education are obviously able to hold more important positions in companies, CEO and CFO, for example.
To sum up, even though each decision is likely to lead to certain upsides, working after completing advancedadvance education is far better for future job than the other does, because I think that learning path is hard, the life path is even harder.
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response presents a clear preference for university education and uses a recognizable essay structure, with separate discussion of work experience and higher education. However, the supporting ideas are thin or unclear, and frequent errors in grammar and word choice regularly strain meaning. The highest priority is to develop each reason with a precise explanation or example while using simpler, accurately controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A relevant position is given and both routes are discussed, but several ideas remain limited, unclear, or insufficiently supported.
Develop each main claim with a clear explanation and a specific example showing how it supports the final position.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is divided logically into paragraphs, although progression within them is sometimes loose and linking is occasionally inaccurate.
Use clear topic sentences and arrange each paragraph as one claim followed by explanation and evidence.
Lexical Resource
There is some topic-related vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices make several statements difficult to interpret.
Prefer familiar, precise combinations such as gain work experience and earn an average wage, and check word form carefully.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are attempted, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, and sentence construction often reduce clarity.
Build shorter complete sentences with controlled subject-verb agreement and verb patterns before combining ideas into complex forms.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. How far do you agree or disagree with the above views?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.