Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. Which point of view do you agree with?
Sample Response
Decent employment is a necessity to lead a decentstandard life for everyone. In the employment market, many people follow various rules and workplace cultureskeep on various rules and cultures. The concept of a modern job has been in a stage of transformationon its transformation stage. Though many people express their opinion as it is better to start the job after school education, my two cents is the better employment opportunities turn up to the university graduation holders. One obvious reason is that highly skilled professionscritical skilled jobs such as medicine and information technology call for excellent academic backgrounds. To be more precise vast scientific and technological understanding is necessary for the effective performance in these specialised jobsbetterment of these atypical jobs. University educationeducations cater to the needs of these job requirements. Needless to say, only university graduates acquire these kinds of job skills throughbring in these kinds of job skills go by the theoretical and practical curriculum. MoreoverOver and above, advanced educationeducations not only helps to honefacilitate to not only horn the pupil's skills but also enlighten them in many ways. Graduates from Harvard and Cambridge universities are the hot ticket in the contemporary job market is the best epitome. Next, most of the countries' public administration departmentscountries public administration departments prefer to employprefer to work with university graduates rather than school leaversthan school dropouts. In other words, graduation is the basic criterion for civil service jobs of most of the nations including the third world. It is clear thatIt is a gospel truth that, well-informed people can easily resolvebreak the deadlock of many public issues than others. It definitely helps to save money and countries' resourcesresources of countries in many ways. So, the hand full of jobs with the handsome amount of money waiting for the university graduates around the world. Indian administrative service applicants’ basic qualification is mentioned as any graduation from the university is the best example. On the other hand, an army of people argues that starting work earlythe early works starts gain more experienceget better experiences in job settings. Perhaps it may be true to some degree but, unskilled workers do not have much demand in the job market. They really need to pull their socks up to find a good employment opportunity in existing word. Put it in a nutshell, the more training we achieved the less unemployed we are. The better employment opportunities are always for the well informed and university holders. A good education assures decent jobs in private and public work settings. So, practising this rule gives several folds positive result than just early starts work concept.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response maintains a clear preference for university education and supports it with examples from skilled professions and public service. Its main weakness is that several claims are overgeneralised or only loosely reasoned, while awkward idioms and frequent grammatical errors reduce clarity. The priority is to develop each argument more precisely, acknowledge the experience-based alternative more fairly, and use natural academic phrasing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is sustained and supported by relevant reasons, although some assertions and examples are overgeneralised or inadequately justified.
Explain why qualifications improve job prospects without claiming they guarantee success, and evaluate the value of work experience more directly.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a recognisable sequence with clear topic shifts, but mechanical linking and the lack of paragraphing weaken the flow.
Divide the response into purposeful paragraphs and use logical relationships between sentences instead of relying on conspicuous linking phrases.
Lexical Resource
There is a broad attempt at topic vocabulary and idiomatic language, but inaccurate collocations and forced expressions frequently reduce precision.
Replace memorised idioms with natural academic combinations and check word choice in phrases about graduates, employment, qualifications, and experience.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Both simple and complex structures are attempted, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, plurals, comparison forms, and clause construction remain noticeable.
Edit each sentence for a complete main clause and consistent subject-verb agreement before adding subordinate or comparative structures.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. Which point of view do you agree with?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.