Some people choose to eat no meat or fish. They believe that this is not only better for their own health but also benefits the world as a whole. Discuss this viewpoint and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
It is generally believed that there are many health and environmental benefits to vegetarianism. While I do agree with this view, I do not think that vegetarianism is for everyone. The consumption of animal products certainly has some health consequences. It hurts the environment as well. Some studies have shown that vegetarians tend to live longer than their meat or fish-eating counterparts. The environmental impacts of non-vegetarianism are even worse. Countless animals are raised, abused and slaughtered to fulfil the demand for meat and fish worldwide. Framing livestock is one of the major causes of greenhouse gas emissions worldwide. If we can reduce the consumption of meat, the need for raising more animals also reduces. As a result, the land that is being used to raise them can be altered to grow vegetables which in turn produce clean air for the whole planet. Obviously, cutting down on the consumption of animal products benefits the whole world. However, meat and fish are an integral part of many cuisines; therefore, being a vegetarian is not an option in many regions of the world. To illustrate, sushi is the most popular Japanese delicacy and without the addition of its main ingredient, fish, sushi will not be complete. Meat consumption is particularly common in cold countries. There are also some regions where it is difficult to grow vegetables and cereals. Furthermore, fish and meat are excellent sources of proteins and some fatty acids crucial for good health. For this season, meat consumption is essential for people engaging in strenuous physical activities. Being vegetarian, for example, is not a viable option for a bodybuilder or an athlete. In conclusion, even though there are advantages to vegetarianism, I believe that this lifestyle is not for everyone. Even so, in my opinion, everyone should make an effort to cut down on their consumption of animal foods. That way they can improve their health and save the planet from tons of greenhouse gases.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove unnecessary emphasis Original: While I do agree Suggested revision: While I agree Why it matters: The auxiliary 'do' adds unnecessary emphasis in this concessive clause.
- 2. Clarify the effect Original: has some health consequences Suggested revision: has some adverse health effects Why it matters: 'Adverse health effects' states the intended negative consequence precisely.
- 3. Use formal wording Original: hurts the environment as well Suggested revision: also harms the environment Why it matters: The revision places the additive adverb naturally and uses a more formal verb.
- 4. Use suspended hyphenation Original: meat or fish-eating counterparts Suggested revision: meat- or fish-eating counterparts Why it matters: A suspended hyphen is needed because both 'meat' and 'fish' modify 'eating'.
- 5. Use precise category Original: impacts of non-vegetarianism Suggested revision: impacts of diets containing animal products Why it matters: The revision names the dietary pattern more clearly than the abstract term 'non-vegetarianism'.
- 6. Correct the word Original: Framing Suggested revision: Farming Why it matters: 'Farming' is the intended activity; 'framing' has a different meaning.
- 7. Use infinitive pattern Original: the need for raising more animals Suggested revision: the need to raise more animals Why it matters: 'Need to raise' is the more natural complement pattern here.
- 8. Use passive agreement Original: also reduces Suggested revision: is also reduced Why it matters: The need is reduced by lower consumption, so the passive form is required.
- 9. Make wording concise Original: the land that is being used Suggested revision: the land currently used Why it matters: The reduced clause expresses the same idea more concisely.
- 10. Use accurate land verb Original: can be altered to grow Suggested revision: can instead be used to grow Why it matters: Land is used for a different purpose rather than itself being altered to grow crops.
- 11. Set off added clause Original: vegetables which in turn produce Suggested revision: vegetables, which in turn produce Why it matters: The non-defining relative clause requires a preceding comma.
- 12. Use concise wording Original: cutting down on the consumption Suggested revision: reducing consumption Why it matters: The direct verb phrase expresses the reduction more concisely.
Suggested Rewrites
- While I do agree While I agree
- has some health consequences has some adverse health effects
- hurts the environment as well also harms the environment
- meat or fish-eating counterparts meat- or fish-eating counterparts
- impacts of non-vegetarianism impacts of diets containing animal products
- Framing Farming
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a clear, nuanced position: reducing animal-food consumption benefits health and the environment, although complete vegetarianism may not suit every person or region. Its strongest feature is the breadth of relevant health, emissions, geography, and nutrition points. The main limitation is that several supporting claims are overstated or inaccurate, and the one-paragraph format blurs progression; prioritise using evidence-based qualifications and separating benefits from practical limitations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The viewpoint and a clear qualified opinion are developed through relevant health, environmental, cultural, geographical, and nutritional considerations.
Replace absolute claims about vegetables, athletes, and regional diets with accurate evidence and explain more precisely who may face genuine constraints.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses recognisably from benefits to limitations and a balanced conclusion, but the entire response is presented as one paragraph.
Create separate body paragraphs for health and environmental benefits, then practical and nutritional limitations.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for diet, health, agriculture, and emissions, though several word choices, collocations, and typographical errors reduce precision.
Use accurate phrases such as ‘livestock farming’, ‘convert land’, ‘sources of protein’, and ‘for this reason’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of structures communicates the argument clearly, but agreement, conditional form, reference, and sentence-boundary errors recur.
Keep conditional sequences consistent and check agreement in clauses describing reduced demand, land use, and dietary benefits.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people choose to eat no meat or fish. They believe that this is not only better for their own health but also benefits the world as a whole. Discuss this viewpoint and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.