Some people choose to eat no meat or fish. They believe that this is not only better for their own health but also benefits the world as a whole. Discuss this viewpoint and give your own opinion.
Same question Compare all 2 answers See different approaches and band scores for this IELTS task.Sample Response
It is a fact that several groups of people prefer not to consume any kinds of meat and fish, as they believe that being vegetarian bring many benefits for their health and for the world as a whole. To a certain extent, I would agree with the opinion, but I think that people should also consume meat and fish in a proportional portion as they contain rich ingredients that are needed by human’s body.
For a number of reasons, some people choose not to eat fish or meat. Firstly, it is believed that several types of meats and fish contain fats which are considered unhealthy for the human’s body. People who consume those kinds of meat or fish have a higher risk of cardiovascular diseases such as heart attack or cholesterol. Secondly, as the demand for meat and fish increases, it would have a negative impact on the environment. The increasing number of farming activities would require bigger areas, which might reduce the number of forest areas. And then with over-exploitation of fishing activities, several types of fishes would extinct and it would make the sea ecosystem become imbalance.
On the other hand, many food scientists have found out that there are several types of vitamins and proteins that could only be obtained from meat and fish. For examples, Salmon fish generates a certain type of oils which are beneficial for our blood circulation process. And then, red meat is needed as the source of nutrition for the human’s brain. However, the main problem of those who consume meat and fish is that most of them consume the food in an inappropriate portion. As a consequence, many of them have problems with obesity or diabetic.
In conclusion, it is true that some people believe that being a vegetarian is healthier than meat consumer, and it would also give a positive effect on the environment. To a certain point, I would agree with it, but meats and fish also contain certain types of nutrition that are needed by our body. I do believe that if we could balance the consumption of meat, fish and vegetable, it would make our body become healthier than the vegetarian.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix number and conjunction Original: any kinds of meat and fish Suggested revision: any kind of meat or fish Why it matters: “Any kind” is singular here, and “or” correctly links the excluded alternatives.
- 2. Fix subject-verb agreement Original: being vegetarian bring Suggested revision: being vegetarian brings Why it matters: The gerund phrase is singular and therefore requires “brings”.
- 3. Fix benefit collocation Original: benefits for their health Suggested revision: benefits to their health Why it matters: Something brings or provides benefits “to” a person's health.
- 4. Use natural quantity phrase Original: in a proportional portion Suggested revision: in moderate portions Why it matters: “Moderate portions” naturally expresses the intended limited quantity.
- 5. Name nutrients accurately Original: rich ingredients Suggested revision: valuable nutrients Why it matters: Foods contain nutrients, while “rich ingredients” does not express the intended nutritional value.
- 6. Add definite article Original: needed by human’s body Suggested revision: needed by the human body Why it matters: The conventional generic expression is “the human body”, without a possessive apostrophe.
- 7. Use uncountable meat Original: several types of meats and fish Suggested revision: several types of meat and fish Why it matters: “Meat” is uncountable when referring generally to food categories.
- 8. Remove wrong possessive Original: unhealthy for the human’s body Suggested revision: unhealthy for the human body Why it matters: The generic noun phrase “the human body” does not use a possessive apostrophe.
- 9. Use accurate examples Original: cardiovascular diseases such as heart attack or cholesterol Suggested revision: cardiovascular problems such as heart attacks or high cholesterol Why it matters: “High cholesterol” names the health condition, while “heart attacks” should be plural in a general list.
- 10. Clarify reference and tense Original: it would have a negative impact Suggested revision: this has a negative impact Why it matters: “This” clearly refers to rising demand, and the present tense matches the general claim.
- 11. Use precise farming phrase Original: The increasing number of farming activities Suggested revision: The expansion of farming Why it matters: Farming expands in scale or area rather than as a countable number of activities.
- 12. Use formal comparative Original: bigger areas Suggested revision: larger areas Why it matters: “Larger” is the more precise formal adjective for physical area.
Suggested Rewrites
- any kinds of meat and fish any kind of meat or fish
- being vegetarian bring being vegetarian brings
- benefits for their health benefits to their health
- in a proportional portion in moderate portions
- rich ingredients valuable nutrients
- needed by human’s body needed by the human body
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response’s strongest feature is its clear qualified position, supported by relevant discussion of health, land use, overfishing, nutrition, and portion size. Its main limitation is frequent inaccurate language and several overgeneralised nutritional claims, which reduce the authority of otherwise coherent reasoning. The highest priority is to express the balanced-diet argument with precise, cautious explanations and correct recurring word-form, agreement, and countability errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The vegetarian viewpoint and a qualified alternative are both developed through relevant health and environmental reasons, with a consistent final position.
Avoid absolute claims about nutrients and explain more carefully why a balanced diet could retain benefits while reducing health and environmental costs.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a clear viewpoint–counterargument–conclusion structure, although repeated connectors and some loosely joined ideas make cohesion mechanical.
Use explicit topic sentences for health, environmental impact, and nutritional balance, and replace repeated ‘And then’ links with logical transitions.
Lexical Resource
There is an adequate range of diet, health, and environmental vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word forms limit precision.
Use standard expressions such as ‘moderate portions’, ‘nutrients’, ‘fish species may become extinct’, ‘marine ecosystem’, and ‘diabetes’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of sentence forms is attempted, but recurring errors in agreement, plurals, articles, comparatives, and verb construction remain noticeable.
Check every noun and verb for number and form, especially ‘vegetarianism brings’, ‘species may become extinct’, and ‘healthier than a vegetarian diet’.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people choose to eat no meat or fish. They believe that this is not only better for their own health but also benefits the world as a whole. Discuss this viewpoint and give your own opinion.
Your response
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