Recent figures show an increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologists claim that the basic reason for this is that children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning they need from parents and teachers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
The 21st century has witnessed a sudden and consistent surge of criminal offences including physical, social and cyber-crimes committed especially by youngstersby people, especially by youngsters who are under 18 years of ageunder the age of 18 years. This trendincidence is not attributed to a particular gender or religion and this is undoubtedly alarming for the social harmony across the globe. Many people, including social activists and psychologists, suggestMany people, social activists including psychologists suggest that these violent behavioursthese behavioural tragedies happen due to the lack of attention given to children by their parents and teachersattention to the children from their parents and teachers. In my opinion, though the argumentabove-said context is true and significant, there are obviously a number of other reasons contributing to it. Nowadays, people have hectic lifestyles and are engaged mostly in professional lifepeople have a hectic lifestyle that they are engaged mostly in professional life and hence there is little room for family life and recreation. Compared to ancient days, family get together and involvement among family members are rarely seenare often seen rarely. Therefore children who are students, normally enjoy more freedom than they shouldenjoy their freedom than they deserve and they are not given enough counselling in order to enable them to choosemake them able to choose what's best for them. Teachers are also mainly focused onmajorly looking at academic performancethe academic performances rather than social and emotional development. On the other hand, there are so many other factors which could actually make the scenario worse. The use of the cyber world and addiction to online social media areThe use of the cyber world, the addiction to online social media are arguably some of them. This enables pupils to experiment with new thingsexperiment new things which were previously accessible only to adolescentswere normally entitled to only adolescents in the early generation. Students and youngsters are also being influenced by the violent video gamesviolent games and negative role models in moviesnegative role plays in the movies. Moreover, the availability of drugs and narcotic materials hashave made the situation dangerous. For example, reports suggest that in India, the use of euphoric substances such as Marijuana has led tohas inclined to lead to the rise in the number of registered police cases. Parents' lack of educationThe lack of education to parents regarding all these topics are also a contributing factor. In a nutshell. I certainly believe that day by day more youngsters are engaged in anti-social activities and this can only be prevented by a systematic approach by both parents and by the governments.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a clear, qualified position and considers both the stated lack of guidance and several plausible alternative causes. Its main limitation is that supporting claims are often broad or imprecise, while the single-paragraph structure and recurring language errors weaken control. The highest priority is to develop fewer causes with specific, credible explanation and organise them into distinct, purposeful paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the opinion directly, maintains a qualified position, and develops several relevant causes, though some support remains general.
Develop two or three key causes more fully with precise causal explanation and a clearly relevant example.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically from parental and teacher influence to other causes, but the absence of paragraphing and some mechanical links reduce cohesion.
Separate the introduction, main lines of argument, and conclusion into purposeful paragraphs with clearer internal topic progression.
Lexical Resource
A reasonably broad vocabulary communicates the argument, but several inaccurate or unnatural collocations weaken precision.
Prefer accurate, natural combinations such as commit offences, greater freedom, and increased drug use over elaborate but awkward phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures, but recurring agreement, article, preposition, comparison, and punctuation errors limit control.
Proofread clause boundaries and subject-verb agreement, especially in long sentences and sentences with compound subjects.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Recent figures show an increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologists claim that the basic reason for this is that children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning they need from parents and teachers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.