Some people believe women are better leaders than men. To which extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
In contemporary society, there is an increasingly popularised opinion that women are more suitable for positions of leadership rather than their male counterparts. During the course of this essay, I would analyse this perspective objectively before drawing a rational conclusion.
Obviously, there are a plethora of reasons supporting the fact that females are superior to males in certain aspects of being chiefs. Amongst them, women tend to outperform the other gender in competencies namely caring for others or working together. These two qualities would eventually create capable leaders. For instance, many sovereignties are having female heads of state, and most of these countries are known to put care in most of their decisions, giving greater rights to members of the public, and closing the gender pay gap. Regarding the relationships with international communities, these nations are usually praised for their harmonious connections.
On the other hand, it is scientifically proven that men could outscore females in the ability to develop a strategic perspective, which enhances the leaders’ chances of making the right call regarding the beneficial impacts to the groups, companies, or organisations. As a matter of fact, the majority of top-tier managerial positions in most successful businesses are held by male members, as well as the expert statuses in most choices of career. Furthermore, women are inconveniently restrained by other duties besides taking leadership roles, such as balancing between work and family. To be specific, women usually have to break their work due to pregnancy, whereas their counterparts have no such trouble.
In conclusion, it could be observed that there are no significant differences between the genders in terms of leadership effectiveness on any measure, which means women and men are equally suitable for leadership positions.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct comparison form Original: more suitable for positions of leadership rather than Suggested revision: more suitable for positions of leadership than Why it matters: The comparative structure with ‘more suitable’ takes ‘than’, not ‘rather than’.
- 2. Use concise phrasing Original: During the course of this essay Suggested revision: In this essay Why it matters: The shorter phrase expresses the same meaning more directly.
- 3. Use appropriate tense Original: would Suggested revision: will Why it matters: Use ‘will’ for the action the essay is about to perform rather than the conditional ‘would’.
- 4. Avoid unsupported certainty Original: fact Suggested revision: view Why it matters: The claim is an arguable viewpoint, so ‘view’ is more accurate than ‘fact’.
- 5. Use natural terminology Original: in certain aspects of being chiefs Suggested revision: in certain aspects of leadership Why it matters: ‘Aspects of leadership’ is the natural academic expression for leadership qualities.
- 6. Introduce examples correctly Original: competencies namely Suggested revision: competencies such as Why it matters: ‘Such as’ correctly introduces the examples that follow.
- 7. Use precise expression Original: together Suggested revision: collaboratively Why it matters: ‘Working collaboratively’ expresses the competency in more precise academic language.
- 8. Clarify causal claim Original: would eventually create capable leaders Suggested revision: can help create capable leaders Why it matters: The revision avoids implying that these qualities inevitably produce capable leaders.
- 9. Choose the right noun Original: sovereignties Suggested revision: countries Why it matters: ‘Sovereignties’ does not naturally refer to countries as political entities in this context.
- 10. Use simple present Original: are having female heads of state Suggested revision: have female heads of state Why it matters: Possession is normally expressed with the simple present ‘have’ here.
- 11. Fix awkward collocation Original: put care in most of their decisions Suggested revision: prioritise care in their decisions Why it matters: ‘Prioritise care’ is a natural collocation for making care central to decisions.
- 12. Clarify the reference Original: Regarding the relationships with international communities Suggested revision: Regarding their relationships with the international community Why it matters: The possessive determiner links the relationships clearly to the countries being discussed.
Suggested Rewrites
- more suitable for positions of leadership rather than more suitable for positions of leadership than
- During the course of this essay In this essay
- would will
- fact view
- in certain aspects of being chiefs in certain aspects of leadership
- competencies namely competencies such as
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is strongest in its balanced structure, moving from perceived female strengths to perceived male strengths before reaching a clear equality-based conclusion. Its main limitation is that several claims are sweeping or only loosely supported, which weakens the persuasiveness of the position despite generally clear progression. The highest-priority improvement is to state the nuanced position earlier and develop each comparison with specific, credible reasoning rather than broad generalisations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the question with a clear eventual position and relevant discussion of both genders, though support is sometimes generalised or speculative.
State the equality-based position in the introduction and substantiate each claimed leadership difference with specific, credible reasoning.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through contrasting body paragraphs, and paragraphing and linking generally make the argument easy to follow.
Use more precise internal transitions to show how the contrasting strengths combine to support the final conclusion.
Lexical Resource
A broad vocabulary supports discussion of leadership, but frequent awkward collocations and word choices reduce precision and naturalness.
Replace strained expressions such as references to chiefs, sovereignties, and expert statuses with direct, idiomatic wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures, but recurring article, preposition, and clause-construction errors weaken control without obscuring meaning.
Proofread complex sentences for article use, preposition choice, and grammatical coordination before adding further complexity.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe women are better leaders than men. To which extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.