Many high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 percent female. So companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
This response is estimated at Band 7.5. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
Women's contribution to building a nation is equally important to that of men, and given the chance, women can be equally adept at taking responsibilityadept to take responsibilities in seniorhigher management positions in a company. Gender equality is no longer a concept, but a proven way to accelerate progress. I, therefore, strongly believe that a proportion of senior positions in companiesa portion of higher positions in companies and organisations should be reserved for womenfemales. To begin with, half of the world'sworld population is women and their empowerment determines the overall progress of nations and the global economy. If these women are kept away from decision-making positions, true empowerment of nations would become impossible. To cite an example, when half of the decision-makers in a large company are females, they can bring diverse perspectives and innovation to the company. Some Asian countriesSome of the Asian countries including Bangladesh and India have introducedincorporated reserved seats in parliaments for women, and these female leaders have done a great deal to encourage women to actively contribute to the country's politics and business sectors. Furthermore, women in higher positions, in the police force, for example, can better understand crime and injusticethe crimes and injustice against women and can propose better solutions to these issues. Similarly, almost every large company has a large proportion of female consumersa great portion of female consumers and having some women in key positionssome female key employees would only ensure more effectivefavourable product research, planning and productionproductions that would better serve womenfemales and ensure more loyal female customers. To conclude, allocating a certain portion of higher positions for women is not a courtesy to womencourtesy to the women. Rather it ensures a balanced working environment, innovation, satisfiedhappy female customers and women'swomen empowerment which are the key ingredients forto sustainable progress and better business development.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response maintains a clear position and supports it with a substantial range of relevant benefits, particularly diverse decision-making, responses to women's concerns, and consumer insight. The main limitation is that some evidence shifts away from company leadership quotas and several claims are asserted rather than fully demonstrated. Strengthen the argument by tying every example directly to mandatory corporate allocation and explaining why a quota is more effective than alternative equality measures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is sustained and supported with several developed benefits, though some public-sector examples are only indirectly relevant to company quotas.
Explain why mandatory corporate quotas specifically are necessary and connect every example directly to that policy.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses logically through clear stages, but the single extended body paragraph contains several ideas that deserve separation.
Divide the supporting discussion into focused paragraphs, each built around one central reason and its evidence.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise, with effective topic language despite occasional awkward collocations and word choices.
Refine combinations such as take responsibility, female empowerment, and product development to make expression more natural.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used with strong control, although a few agreement and phrasing errors remain.
Proofread long sentences for subject-verb agreement and parallel noun forms while preserving the current structural range.