Students who go directly from school to university benefit less from and contribute less to their courses than those who take a job or travel in order to get more experience in ‘real world’ before they start higher education. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.
Sample Response
It is believed that young people who directly continue their study in an undergraduate course get less benefit and make fewer contributions to their program of study, compare to students who already have job experiences or travelled to another area to gain experiences in the workplace before they continue their university studies. With regard to the statement, I personally agree with it and the following essay will discuss in details.
Some high school graduates choose to enter the university directly after they have finished their secondary school studies, and it is believed that they have some weak points. As they lack the real-world experiences, they prefer not to actively responses to the tutor's lecture. Most of them would accept all of the lecturers' discussions, though tutors could mislead with their presentations. Besides that, although these students might get good academic results, it would not guarantee that they would perform well in their workplaces. They only knew about theories that underlie behind their field of study, whereas in the real world, sometimes the theory contradict to the practice.
On the other hand, there are students who took several years trip to another place to gain cultural experiences or take some jobs to get work experiences, before they continue their undergraduate studies. Many people think that these valuable experiences will be positively impacted to their further studies. As they have gained real world experiences in their life, they could give some feedbacks, responses and shares their experiences in the classroom, which would make the atmosphere of the class, would be alive and positive. Besides that, during their study, they could also learn how to integrate and connect the theory with their previous work experiences.
In conclusion, high school graduates have their own choices after they have finished high school. Some of them prefer to continue to the university study, while others choose to work for several years or take a trip to another area before they continue their higher study. In my opinion, I do believe that students who have had real world experiences give more significant contributions to their class and get more benefits from the study, than those who directly continue their further study.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use plural noun Original: study Suggested revision: studies Why it matters: 'Studies' is the natural plural noun for a person's continuing education.
- 2. Use natural collocation Original: get less benefit Suggested revision: gain fewer benefits Why it matters: 'Gain benefits' is the appropriate collocation, and the plural count noun takes 'fewer'.
- 3. Use participle form Original: compare to Suggested revision: compared with Why it matters: The past participle is required to introduce this comparison.
- 4. Use uncountable noun Original: job experiences Suggested revision: work experience Why it matters: 'Work experience' is normally uncountable when referring generally to employment history.
- 5. Correct detail phrase Original: discuss in details Suggested revision: discuss this in detail Why it matters: The fixed expression is 'in detail', and the verb needs an object here.
- 6. Use uncountable form Original: the real-world experiences Suggested revision: real-world experience Why it matters: 'Experience' is uncountable when it means general practical knowledge.
- 7. Use verb form Original: actively responses Suggested revision: respond actively Why it matters: The infinitive after 'to' requires the verb 'respond', not the noun 'responses'.
- 8. Use consistent plurals Original: to the tutor's lecture Suggested revision: to their tutors' lectures Why it matters: Plural forms fit the general reference to students, tutors and repeated classes.
- 9. Clarify pronoun reference Original: it Suggested revision: this Why it matters: 'This' clearly refers to achieving good academic results, whereas 'it' has no clear singular antecedent.
- 10. Keep present tense Original: knew Suggested revision: know Why it matters: The paragraph describes a general present situation, so the present tense is required.
- 11. Remove redundant wording Original: theories that underlie behind Suggested revision: the theories underlying Why it matters: 'Underlie' already conveys the idea of being behind something.
- 12. Correct verb pattern Original: the theory contradict to the practice Suggested revision: theory contradicts practice Why it matters: 'Contradict' takes a direct object and needs third-person singular agreement.
Suggested Rewrites
- study studies
- get less benefit gain fewer benefits
- compare to compared with
- job experiences work experience
- discuss in details discuss this in detail
- the real-world experiences real-world experience
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay maintains a clear agreement and develops a relevant contrast between theoretically prepared school-leavers and students with practical or cultural experience. Its main limitation is overgeneralisation, particularly the claim that direct entrants are passive or easily misled, while frequent grammatical and lexical errors reduce clarity. Prioritise balanced, evidence-based comparisons and one concrete example of experience improving classroom contribution.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear and supported by relevant arguments about participation and connecting theory with practice, though several claims are broad and insufficiently evidenced.
Use a specific example showing how work or travel experience improves a university discussion while acknowledging a strength of direct entry.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure and comparison between the two student groups are logical, but some sentences contain repetitive or unclear internal links.
Give each body paragraph one central claim and follow it with a concise explanation and example before moving to the comparison.
Lexical Resource
There is adequate topic vocabulary, but frequent word-form, countability, and collocation errors substantially limit precision.
Use accurate phrases such as 'work experience', 'respond actively', 'apply theory in practice', 'offer feedback', and 'contribute to class'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are frequently attempted, but errors in tense, agreement, verb patterns, articles, and relative clauses recur throughout.
Simplify overloaded sentences and proofread forms such as 'compared with', 'respond', 'theory contradicts practice', and 'experiences positively affect study'.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Students who go directly from school to university benefit less from and contribute less to their courses than those who take a job or travel in order to get more experience in ‘real world’ before they start higher education. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.