Students who go directly from school to university benefit less from and contribute less to their courses than those who take a job or travel in order to get more experience in ‘real world’ before they start higher education. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.
Sample Response
The sequence of students' educationorder and pattern of students' education are always a matter of discussion and debate all over the world. Though few people support direct continuing education from school to the university, I strongly hold the view that the part-time jobs and expedition journeys, after the schooling, positively contribute to the university education to a great extent.
One of the obvious reasons is that part time job assists to resolve financial challengesissues of university education. To be more precise, the cost of higher education, which is difficult to afforda tough nut to crack for many students can be covered partly by earnings from employmentresolved to some extent by the wages and salaries of job settings. In Europe and America, students enjoy sabbatical leave and make their graduation and post-graduation study as a piece of cake is the best epitome.
Another reason to support my view is that travelling helpsthe travelling helps immensely to discover the incredible world. In other words, students can get more practical knowledge thatwhich is necessary to achieveget academic excellence not only in history and biological sciencesHistory and Biological sciences but also in all other subjects. Actions speak louder than words. Practical experience is completely different from bookish knowledge, acquired by long journeys, positively influences for academic improvement and to tackle complex issues of future life episodes of the students. Moreover, this is an excellent opportunity forto pupils to understand thatthe life is not just a cake walk.
However, many peopleIronically, an army of people claims that this order of education is a waste of time. Students need to graduateget graduation as early as possible to serve society. This may be truePerhaps it may be true but we cannot deny that Rome was not built in a day. Taking the necessary timeNecessary time consumption is an integral part of excellent education.
To crown it all, both travelling and gaining work experienceboth travelling and have some work experience, especially before universitybefore university term, positively contribute to personal and economic aspects of students' academic and personal livesthe student life and personal life.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response states a consistent position and gives separate reasons concerning employment, travel, and practical experience, with a generally recognizable progression. Its main limitation is that several points, particularly earning money for tuition, do not clearly demonstrate greater benefit from or contribution to university courses, while frequent awkward language obscures parts of the argument. The highest-priority improvement is to link every example directly to academic participation and express those links in simpler, grammatically controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear view is maintained and relevant benefits are discussed, but some support is indirect and the contribution-to-courses element is not fully developed.
Explain specifically how work and travel improve students' learning and contributions in seminars, projects, or other university-course contexts.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing and overall sequencing are clear, though some internal links are imprecise and the counterargument is only briefly integrated.
Use explicit logical links between each experience, the skill it develops, and its effect at university instead of relying on stock transitions and sayings.
Lexical Resource
There is evidence of range, but frequent inaccurate collocations, unsuitable idioms, and imprecise wording weaken control.
Prioritize natural academic combinations such as gain work experience and apply practical knowledge, and remove decorative idioms that blur the point.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex forms are attempted, but recurring errors in agreement, articles, clause structure, and complementation reduce clarity in several sentences.
Use shorter complete clauses and check each verb for a clear subject, correct form, and appropriate complement before combining ideas.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Students who go directly from school to university benefit less from and contribute less to their courses than those who take a job or travel in order to get more experience in ‘real world’ before they start higher education. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.