Students who go directly from school to university benefit less from and contribute less to their courses than those who take a job or travel in order to get more experience in ‘real world’ before they start higher education. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.
Sample Response
Experience is the best teacher, so goes an age old saying. Experience earned from work or from a foreign travel is a valuable asset to own, for a person. I strongly believe that a student who does not have work experience after school and has completed university reaps less benefit in the real world compared to the student who does. Today the corporates are not only seeking a graduation or post-graduation degree in their employees but also seeking relevant work experience to go with it. When an organisation hires an experienced ‘market ready’ professional, it saves a lot of time and money in training the employee. Thus, often during a recruitment drive, candidates who have no prior work experience end up as also-rans.
Based on the work experience after school, a student can choose the domain of specialisation in which he wants to attend the university. On the contrary, a student entering the university directly after school generally tends to go with the herd while choosing the courses or domain at the university. A few months in the course, the student may not find it interesting but has no option to go back. In fact, the student may be compelled to find a job and pursue a career in the same field which may lead to the student not enjoying the work he does.
A student who has earned and saved money after school can pay a portion of his fees on his own and has to take a lesser student loan for paying the university fees. On the other hand, a student directly entering university after school has paid the entire fees from the student loan. The student loan is a menace. According to a survey 8 to 10% of people in the USA repay student loans even at the age of 60.
In conclusion, considering the above points, I can say with conviction that it is better to work for a few years and then enter a university than to directly attend university after school. Apart from the monetary benefits, this approach also has benefits like individual growth and development.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural phrasing Original: Experience earned from work or from a foreign travel Suggested revision: Experience gained through work or foreign travel Why it matters: Experience is 'gained', and 'travel' is uncountable in this general sense.
- 2. Remove awkward phrasing Original: a valuable asset to own, for a person Suggested revision: a valuable personal asset Why it matters: The replacement removes the redundant infinitive and misplaced comma.
- 3. Clarify the student group Original: a student who does not have work experience after school and has completed university Suggested revision: a student who enters university directly after school Why it matters: The original sequence confusingly combines a lack of pre-university experience with having already graduated.
- 4. Fix comparison structure Original: reaps less benefit in the real world compared to Suggested revision: gains less benefit in the real world than Why it matters: A direct comparative with 'less' requires 'than'.
- 5. Name employers naturally Original: the corporates Suggested revision: employers Why it matters: 'Corporates' is not the natural plural noun for organisations hiring staff.
- 6. Use qualification terms Original: a graduation or post-graduation degree Suggested revision: undergraduate or postgraduate qualifications Why it matters: The replacement uses standard terms and agrees with the general plural reference.
- 7. Fix recruitment preposition Original: in their employees Suggested revision: from applicants Why it matters: Employers seek qualifications from job applicants, not in existing employees.
- 8. Fix cost collocation Original: in training the employee Suggested revision: on employee training Why it matters: Time and money are normally spent or saved 'on' an activity.
- 9. Clarify modifier Original: Based on the work experience after school Suggested revision: Based on work experience gained after school Why it matters: Adding the past participle makes clear that the student gained the experience.
- 10. Fix study collocation Original: domain of specialisation in which he wants to attend the university Suggested revision: field in which they want to specialise at university Why it matters: A student specialises in a field and attends a university, not a domain.
- 11. Use comparison linker Original: On the contrary Suggested revision: By contrast Why it matters: 'By contrast' compares the two student groups without implying that the previous claim is false.
- 12. Use formal expression Original: go with the herd Suggested revision: follow others Why it matters: The original idiom is too informal for an academic essay.
Suggested Rewrites
- Experience earned from work or from a foreign travel Experience gained through work or foreign travel
- a valuable asset to own, for a person a valuable personal asset
- a student who does not have work experience after school and has completed university a student who enters university directly after school
- reaps less benefit in the real world compared to gains less benefit in the real world than
- the corporates employers
- a graduation or post-graduation degree undergraduate or postgraduate qualifications
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response's strongest feature is its clear position and logically developed case that work experience can improve career choice, employability and financial independence. The main limitation is task alignment: it largely discusses benefits after graduation and student debt, while the prompt specifically asks whether gap-year students benefit more from and contribute more to their university courses. Prioritise direct analysis of classroom maturity, practical insight, participation and peer contribution, with examples tied to course experience.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is supported with developed ideas about employment, course choice and finance, but the crucial claims about benefiting from and contributing to university courses are largely unaddressed.
Explain how prior work or travel could improve seminar participation, practical understanding, motivation and contributions to classmates, and compare these directly with school-leavers.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically organised into focused paragraphs on employability, specialisation and finance, with clear progression and generally effective linking.
Retain the structure but make each body paragraph begin and end with an explicit connection to university course benefit or contribution.
Lexical Resource
A good range conveys education, employment and finance ideas clearly, though several collocations and countability choices are awkward.
Use natural phrases such as 'work or overseas travel', 'graduate or postgraduate qualification', 'choose a field of specialisation' and 'take out a smaller loan'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied structures with generally clear control, but article, tense, comparison and noun-form errors occur with some regularity.
Review forms such as 'an age-old saying', 'after a few months on the course', 'would have to pay' and 'tuition fees'.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Students who go directly from school to university benefit less from and contribute less to their courses than those who take a job or travel in order to get more experience in ‘real world’ before they start higher education. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.