Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do so many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?
Sample Response
Nowadays, the numberratio of employed people who suffer from different health-related issues is increasing faster than ever and their overall healthgeneral health condition is deteriorating. This problemSuch a cataclysm has stemmed from work pressure, lack of physical exercise and reliance on machines to do their workdependency on machines to do our work. Exercise, encouragement from employers and the governmentencouragement from the employer and the government to do workouts, and finally, a balanced diet are the solutions to this problem.
One of the primary reasons for working people not to do enough or any exercise is the abysmal working conditions where working life is extremely competitive and full of anxiety. For instance, employees face constant deadlinesemployers have constant deadlines and tough targets at their offices, and to achieve them, they have to work long hours each day. It drains their stamina, and as a consequence, they do not want to do any exercise even when they are at home. In addition, dependency on technology has worsened the problemhas deteriorated the condition. Due to technological advancements, people have replaced time available for exercise withexchanged the available time for exercise with browsing the internet, watching television and checking their social media accountstheir accounts on social media websites. They also prefer driving to walkingprefer to drive than to walk, and use washing machines to clean their clothes - just to give some examples. This trend, in turn, has a negative impact on their healthnegative impacts on their health.
To address this problem, physical exercise is essentialphysical exercise is a "must". To remain fit, those workers have to stop leading a sedentary lifestyle and start moving. The government can supportfacilitate outdoor activities so that people get out and take part in those activities after office hours. Employers have to realise that healthy employees mean better productivity and they should arrange exercise facilities onat the office premises. To give an example of how sports and exercise facilities can encourage employees to do some workouts, we can take offices near parks and gyms as an example. It is evident that employees in those offices are muchpractically more inclined to do exercise than those who are located in areas where public parks and exercise facilities are rare. Finally, the workers have to follow a balanced diet to achieve better results, and employers can help themthe office can help them with that too.
In conclusion, exercise is essential to our health, productivity and life. ConsequentlyIn consequence, workers, authorities, employers, and individuals should collaborate to make everyone's lifestyle healthier by adding more time for exercise and helping them follow a balanced diet.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The essay answers both questions directly and is strongest in its clear cause-and-solution structure, supported by relevant explanations of work pressure, technology use, and workplace facilities. The main weakness is occasional imprecision: some claims are overstated or loosely connected to insufficient exercise, and several word choices and comparisons are awkward. Refine the causal logic and edit collocations and comparative structures for greater accuracy and naturalness.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both the causes and possible responses are addressed directly with relevant explanation and examples, although the discussion of diet is somewhat peripheral.
Keep every proposed measure tightly focused on increasing exercise and support broader claims with more specific reasoning.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are logically sequenced in well-focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the reader smoothly through causes, solutions, and the conclusion.
Trim repeated example signals and strengthen links between individual measures and the particular causes they address.
Lexical Resource
A broad range of topic-specific vocabulary is used effectively, but overstatement and awkward collocations occasionally weaken precision and naturalness.
Replace exaggerated or imprecise choices such as "cataclysm" and review collocations involving time, exercise, and workplace conditions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay uses varied complex structures with generally good control, though occasional errors appear in comparisons, reference, and word forms.
Check comparative patterns such as "prefer to drive rather than walk" and ensure pronouns and subjects refer to the intended people.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do so many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.