Some companies say that if an employee wants to smoke they must leave the building and smoke outside. This takes time away from work, and the employers insist that this time should be counted as break time. This may not be fair to the smokers who may have to wait a long time to get out of the building. How could this problem be resolved?
Sample Response
Human nature is open to a variety of addictions such as alcohol and smoking. Some of these addictions affect work performanceworking quality and as a result of this, alcohol is banned from workplaces. On the other hand, because smoking does not affect workbecause of smoking doesn't affect working, employees are allowed to use it during their shift. But, during the last two decadesduring last two decades the government has approvedgovernment approved a new law that forbidsnew bill which forbids smoking inside buildings and as a result of this, people who would like to smoke cigarettes should leave the building first. This essay is going to examine which solutions could be used to reduce the time required to leaveclose time gap for required to leave the building. First of all, using the same amount of breaks is right of each employee. It should be calculated somehow. For instance, employers should give break time counter to each employee and inform them that if they will go outside, a counter will calculate total time spent outside. If an employee works without breaks, he or she should receive incentives such as bonus or internal company rewardcompany internal usage points . Secondly,Secondly, employers might reorganise employees' desksemployees desk near exitsnear to exist to prevent wasted timetimes while leavingduring walking out of the building. Furthermore, companies might add a balcony on each floor in order to create smoking zones. This idea might be useful for employees, but I think this solutionI this solution might create massive expenses during construction. Moreover, some companies like "Google" allow their employees to work without defined desks and this gives mobility to employees. This might be a solution without spending any moneywithout spending any to avoid wasted times for smokers. Lastly, there might be a program to deter employees from smoking while giving them a chancegiving them chance to smoke during work hours. For instance, employees who joined the program quits smoking, completes the program successfully and they receive incentives such as bonus cash or company points. This solution has benefits both sidesbenefits to each side and it could be used for the betterment of life and working standardsstandard. In conclusion, there are a variety of solutions to avoid the smoking issue and both sides should try their best to fix it before it became pandemic.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The essay proposes a useful range of possible solutions, including tracking breaks, locating workers near exits, creating smoking areas, flexible seating, and cessation incentives. Its main limitation is that the ideas are presented in one dense block and several are impractical or insufficiently explained, while frequent language errors obscure details. The priority is to select two or three fair, workable policies and explain clearly how each balances productivity with smokers’ break rights.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The problem is addressed through several relevant proposals, but their fairness, practicality, and connection to the time-loss issue are unevenly developed.
Focus on transparent break tracking, accessible designated areas, and cessation support, explaining how each treats smokers and non-smokers fairly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Sequencing words make the list of solutions recognizable, but the single-block format, weak transitions, and loosely connected introduction reduce progression.
Use separate paragraphs for the problem, workplace-design solutions, break policy, cessation support, and a concise recommendation.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient workplace vocabulary to communicate the main proposals, but frequent inaccurate choices such as “working quality,” “close time gap,” and “became pandemic” reduce clarity.
Use precise terms such as “productivity,” “time spent leaving the building,” “designated smoking area,” “break allowance,” and “smoking-cessation programme.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent errors in clause formation, articles, agreement, conditionals, possessives, and punctuation occur throughout and sometimes obscure the intended solution.
Write shorter sentences with clear subjects and verbs, then check forms such as “if they go outside,” “employees’ desks,” and “employees who join the programme.”
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some companies say that if an employee wants to smoke they must leave the building and smoke outside. This takes time away from work, and the employers insist that this time should be counted as break time. This may not be fair to the smokers who may have to wait a long time to get out of the building. How could this problem be resolved?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.