Nowadays many jobs are more stressful and the working day is longer. What are the reasons for this? What can employers do to help employees?
Sample Response
The ever increasing job competition, the pressure of constant deadlines, the technological dependency in jobs and people’s expectation to thrive in the workplace have changed the definition of professional life and most of the employees require to work harder and for long hours each day. In this essay, I will examine the reasons behind this work pressure and lengthy working hours and suggest some ways that the employers can help improve the condition. High competition in the job market is one of the reasons why jobs have become such stressful these days. Employers always have options for finding new employees and replace someone and this is why someone who has already been hired has to work hard to save his job. This naturally has negative psychological effects on employees. Employees have to work for longer hours to meet their performance target as the invisible threat of firing is there. Increasing competition caused by globalisation is another reason to make the workplace such stressful. Many small and medium business entities need to compete with other multinational companies and companies in developing nations where labour price is cheaper. The effect of this on employees is that they know they may be made redundant if the business they work for fails. This force the employees not only to work longer hours but also suffer from work-related stress and uncertainty. In most of the organisations, the employers these days set targets for the employees and most of the targets are hard to achieve. As a result, employees are forced to work beyond 10 hours per day and even on days-off. Finally, people’s expectation from the offices have reached to a higher position and people are ready to sacrifice their personal life for the sake of promotions. This shift of mind setup has also attributed to the increasing work pressure. Despite the higher competition in business, employers should ensure a healthy working environment and support their workers morally and financially in order to sustain in the long run. An organisation cannot survive without experiences and dedicated employees and constant fear of uncertainty cannot ensure a healthy workplace. Employers should encourage employees to work the regular hours and work overtime only when it is absolutely necessary. The employers should also encourage people who perform better and award them for their performance. The workers should be allowed to take breaks and should not suffer from anxiety of losing jobs. Finally, the employers should have a friendly relationship with the workers and have meetings to listen to their problem. If the employer can assure the employees that they are ready to help each other and their jobs are secured, they can then expect better outputs from the employees. In conclusion, higher competition in the job market, globalisation and people’s aim to reach higher are the main reasons for stress in the workplace and the employers have a lot to contribute to improving this situation. A healthy workplace is very crucial for the best performance by the employees.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural collocation Original: technological dependency in jobs Suggested revision: dependence on technology at work Why it matters: This phrasing expresses the intended relationship more naturally and precisely.
- 2. Remove unnecessary article Original: most of the employees Suggested revision: most employees Why it matters: Use most directly before a general plural noun.
- 3. Correct passive form Original: require to work Suggested revision: are required to work Why it matters: Employees receive the requirement, so the passive form is needed.
- 4. Correct time expression Original: for long hours Suggested revision: long hours Why it matters: Work long hours is the standard collocation here.
- 5. Remove extra words Original: ways that the employers Suggested revision: ways employers Why it matters: The definite article and relative marker are unnecessary in this construction.
- 6. Clarify reference Original: improve the condition Suggested revision: improve these conditions Why it matters: The plural phrase refers more clearly to workload and workplace pressure.
- 7. Use correct degree word Original: such Suggested revision: so Why it matters: Use so, rather than such, directly before an adjective.
- 8. Restore parallel structure Original: options for finding new employees and replace someone Suggested revision: options to find new employees and replace existing staff Why it matters: The coordinated verbs need matching infinitive forms.
- 9. Use plural noun Original: target Suggested revision: targets Why it matters: The general reference to employees requires the plural form.
- 10. Use precise expression Original: invisible threat of firing Suggested revision: constant threat of dismissal Why it matters: This is a clearer and more natural expression for fear of losing a job.
- 11. Use correct degree word Original: such Suggested revision: so Why it matters: So is required directly before the adjective stressful.
- 12. Correct economic collocation Original: price Suggested revision: costs Why it matters: Labour costs is the conventional term for what employers pay for labour.
Suggested Rewrites
- technological dependency in jobs dependence on technology at work
- most of the employees most employees
- require to work are required to work
- for long hours long hours
- ways that the employers ways employers
- improve the condition improve these conditions
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response’s strongest feature is its extensive, relevant coverage of both the causes of workplace pressure and practical employer responses, with a clear position sustained throughout. Its main limitation is that the ideas are presented in one very long block and are sometimes expressed through awkward or inaccurate wording. The highest priority is to divide the argument into purposeful paragraphs and revise recurring collocation and sentence-control errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both questions directly and develops several relevant causes and employer actions, although some points overlap or remain generalised.
Develop fewer causes and solutions more selectively, using one precise example or consequence for each main point.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses logically from causes to solutions and uses clear linking, but the lack of visible paragraph breaks weakens organisation across the long response.
Separate the introduction, distinct cause groups, employer measures, and conclusion into clear paragraphs with focused topic sentences.
Lexical Resource
A broad vocabulary supports detailed discussion, but recurring unnatural collocations and word choices reduce precision despite generally clear meaning.
Replace awkward phrases with natural combinations such as job insecurity, labour costs, experienced employees, and higher productivity.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures, but frequent agreement, article, infinitive, and sentence-pattern errors limit grammatical control.
Proofread systematically for subject-verb agreement and verb patterns, especially after singular subjects and structures such as require and force.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays many jobs are more stressful and the working day is longer. What are the reasons for this? What can employers do to help employees?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.