In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?
Sample Response
We have achieved significant advancements in agriculture and food production, yet a large proportion of the global population suffers from food insecurity. The causes of this pervasive issue are multifaceted and complex, with a range of social, economic, and political factors contributing to the problem. In this essay, I will shed some light on the causes of this issue while also suggesting some effective solutions.
One key factor to this problem is the growing global population, which is expected to exceed 10 billion by 2056. This growth puts significant pressure on agricultural production to meet the growing demand for food. However, the increase in population also results in a strain on natural resources, such as water and arable land, which are essential for food production. For instance, the growing global population on food production can be observed in regions experiencing rapid urbanization. As more people move to urban areas, the demand for food increases, necessitating large-scale agricultural operations to meet the needs of densely populated cities.
Furthermore, climate change exacerbates the issue of food insecurity. Extreme weather conditions such as droughts, floods, and heat waves can adversely affect crop yields, leading to food shortages and price spikes. The effects of climate change on food production and distribution are predicted to worsen in the coming years, particularly in vulnerable regions such as sub-Saharan Africa and South Asia.
To address this complex issue, it is essential to take a comprehensive approach that addresses both the immediate and long-term causes of food insecurity. This may include policies and programs that support sustainable agriculture practices, increased access to education and healthcare, and the promotion of economic growth and development. Governments and international organizations must also work to address the root causes of conflict and political instability, which often exacerbate food insecurity.
In conclusion, the issue of global hunger is a complex and multifaceted problem that requires a comprehensive and sustained effort to address. While significant progress has been made in recent years, much work remains to be done to ensure that every person has access to the basic human right of food security.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise noun Original: advancements Suggested revision: advances Why it matters: Advances is the more concise and natural noun in this context.
- 2. Use simpler adjective Original: pervasive Suggested revision: widespread Why it matters: Widespread conveys the global extent more directly.
- 3. Remove duplicated meaning Original: multifaceted and complex Suggested revision: complex Why it matters: Multifaceted and complex overlap in meaning here.
- 4. Avoid informal idiom Original: shed some light on Suggested revision: examine Why it matters: Examine is more direct and formal.
- 5. Correct preposition Original: factor to this problem Suggested revision: factor contributing to this problem Why it matters: A factor contributes to a problem rather than being to it.
- 6. Use direct verb Original: results in a strain on Suggested revision: strains Why it matters: The direct verb expresses the effect more concisely.
- 7. Use adjective form Original: agriculture Suggested revision: agricultural Why it matters: Agricultural is the adjective that modifies practices.
- 8. Use concise phrasing Original: a large proportion of the global population Suggested revision: many people worldwide Why it matters: The shorter phrase states the scale more directly and naturally.
- 9. Tighten essay map Original: while also suggesting some effective solutions Suggested revision: and propose effective solutions Why it matters: A parallel verb makes the two-part essay purpose more concise.
- 10. Use precise projection verb Original: expected Suggested revision: projected Why it matters: Projected is more precise for a future population estimate.
- 11. Add missing object Original: effort to address. Suggested revision: effort to address it. Why it matters: Address is transitive here and needs an object referring back to the problem.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: For instance, the growing global population on food production can be observed in regions experiencing rapid urbanization. Suggested revision: For instance, the effects of a growing global population on food production can be observed in rapidly urbanizing regions. Why it matters: The original lacks the head noun effects and attaches the prepositional phrase incorrectly.
Suggested Rewrites
- advancements advances
- pervasive widespread
- multifaceted and complex complex
- shed some light on examine
- factor to this problem factor contributing to this problem
- results in a strain on strains
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response presents a clear cause-and-solution structure and explains population pressure and climate-related disruption with relevant detail. Its main limitation is that the proposed remedies are broad and only loosely connected to the causes, while the argument gives limited attention to why hunger persists despite higher agricultural capacity. The highest priority is to develop fewer, targeted solutions by showing how each would improve access, distribution, or resilience for food-insecure populations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response addresses both questions with relevant causes and solutions, but the solutions are mostly listed rather than explained and the ‘despite advances’ tension is not fully examined.
Link each proposed measure to a specific cause and explain how it would overcome barriers such as poverty, conflict, distribution failures, or climate vulnerability.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear overall progression, focused paragraphs, and cohesive links that make the cause-and-solution sequence easy to follow.
Strengthen the transition into the solution paragraph by explicitly showing which earlier cause each remedy is intended to address.
Lexical Resource
A broad and appropriately academic vocabulary is used with generally accurate collocation, though a few phrases such as ‘factor to this problem’ are imprecise.
Proofread abstract noun phrases and collocations, replacing awkward forms with precise alternatives such as ‘factor contributing to this problem’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentence forms are varied and mostly controlled, with only isolated errors such as the malformed population example sentence.
Check each long sentence for a complete grammatical relationship between subject, verb, and complement before retaining its supporting detail.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.