The line graph shows the percentage of people of different age groups and how they rate a set of factors in terms of importance when buying a new home.
Sample Response
The line graph illustrates the importance, measured in percentages, that four ages groups place on five different factors when they move to a new home. It is immediately apparent that a low crime rate is the most important factorvariable across all the age groups. Of all the factors, a low crime ratethe desire for a low crime rate is by far the most important. Across all the age groupsAmongst the all the age groups the figures stand at just over 80%this figure stands at around 80%, with the middle-aged and older groupsmiddle aged and elderly recording slightly higher percentages for itviewing it as slightly more important. Next, schools are considered importantschools are seen as very important by a significant proportion of people aged 25 to 4425 to 44 year olds although the percentages drop markedly as people get older, with just under 25% of 55- to 64-year-olds55 to 64 year olds considering schools importantviewing this as important. Shopping facilities, being chosen by around 13%, are not viewed with such importance as schools and crime by the younger age groups. However, as people get older, shopping facilities increase in importancethis increases in importance to approximately 30%and, and, as would be expected, shopping facilities are rated as more important than schoolsis actually more important than schools to 55- to 64-year-oldsthose over 55. Finally, although both increase in importance with agealthough increasing in importance with age, neither parks nor public transport is considered as important asare viewed to be as important as the other factors by any of the groups.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response identifies the dominant importance of low crime and accurately explains the contrasting age trends for schools, shopping, parks, and public transport. Its main limitation is some repetition in the overview and a few awkward grammatical forms, which slightly reduce precision and polish. Prioritize a more concise overview that also highlights the sharp decline in schools and the general rise of the other three amenities.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The dominant factor and the contrasting age-related trends are selected accurately and supported with appropriate figures.
Make the overview more complete by pairing the stable dominance of crime rate with the fall in schools and rises elsewhere.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report moves logically from the dominant factor through the remaining categories, although the overview repeats its central point.
Combine the repeated overview statements and group the declining and rising series in distinct detail paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a good range of comparative language, though importance and related wording are repeated and occasionally awkward.
Use more natural alternatives such as priority and proportion while avoiding phrases like viewed with such importance.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex comparative sentences are generally well controlled, with a few local noun-phrase and article errors.
Correct forms such as four age groups and among all the age groups, and check articles in complex sentences.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The line graph shows the percentage of people of different age groups and how they rate a set of factors in terms of importance when buying a new home.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.