The graph below gives information about international tourist arrivals in five countries.

Sample Response

1

The graph shows the number of international tourist arrivalsoverall numbers of tourist arrivals in five countries between 1995 and 2010. In 1995 over 70 million tourists visited the United States, more than twice as many as the next most popular destination shown, France. However, between 2005 and 2010 there was a decrease of approximately 2 millionapproximately 1,500,000 in arrivals to the United Statesthe numbers going to the United States whereas arrivals in France increased by nearly 20 millionthere was an increase of nearly 20 million tourists visiting France. The result was that in 2010 the number of tourists arriving in the United States and France was almost equal at around 90 million each.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.5

The response gives an accurate, concise comparison of the United States and France and handles complex comparative sentences confidently. Its central limitation is severe underdevelopment: at 98 words, it omits Brazil, Egypt, and Malaysia and provides no overview of the five-country picture. The priority is to add a clear overall trend and grouped comparisons covering the three omitted destinations while reaching the required length.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TA

Task Achievement

4.5
Scoring rule

The figures and trends for the United States and France are accurately reported, but most of the visual information is omitted.

Next step

Add an overview and compare the growth patterns and final levels of Brazil, Egypt, and Malaysia in a response of at least 150 words.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0
Scoring rule

The short account moves logically from the opening description through a past comparison to the converging final figures.

Next step

Develop the report into an overview and grouped detail paragraphs so all five series can be compared coherently.

LR

Lexical Resource

7.0
Scoring rule

The vocabulary for tourist numbers, change, and comparison is accurate, varied, and appropriately formal.

Next step

Broaden the trend language when adding the missing countries, using precise terms for gradual and substantial increases.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.5
Scoring rule

The response uses varied complex structures with accurate comparison, subordination, agreement, and punctuation.

Next step

Sustain this control across a fuller report while varying the repeated constructions built around tourist numbers.

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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1

The graph below gives information about international tourist arrivals in five countries.

Your response

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20:00

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