The chart below shows the number of travellers using three major airports in New York City between 1995 and 2000.
Sample Response
The bar chart gives information about how many people travelled throughvisited New York City through three major airports, during the six years from 1995 to 2000over a six-year period between 1995 and 2000.
Overall, it can be seen that over the period, there was a fluctuatingfluctuant trend in the number of passengers who travelled via John F. Kennedy airport, while the other two airports saw an upward trend. Notably,Another interesting point is that LaGuardia airport was the busiest in 2000the most popular at the end.
Looking at the detailsdetail, the number of travellers at John F. Kennedy airport started at 26m in 1995, and then rose sharplythen increased remarkably to reach the highest point of 47m in 1997. In 1999, the figure dipped to 32m. In the final yearAt the last year, there was a slight risegrowth to 45 million44m. On the other hand, LaGuardia began at 35m in 1995, after that it rose remarkably for the next three years, at 46m. In 2000, LaGuardia peakedhit the peak point at 68 million travellers68m travellers.
Turning to Newark AirportHowever, if we look at Newark airport, the passenger total started at the lowest level, 16 millionit started at the lowest point of 16m passengers in the first year. After this point, the number of passengers rose significantlythe trend increased significantly to 42m in 1998. From 1998 through 2000In the last two years it remained stable at 42m travellers.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents an effective overview and follows the three airport series in a clear sequence, using mostly accurate figures. Coverage is somewhat selective, however, with several intermediate years omitted and minor imprecision in the final Kennedy figure, while some phrasing is awkward or repetitive. The best improvement would be to compare the airports more directly across key years while using more natural trend vocabulary and sentence links.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview accurately distinguishes Kennedy's fluctuation from the other airports' growth, and the key start, peak and end values are mostly well selected.
Add one or two direct cross-airport comparisons and report Kennedy's final value precisely as about 45 million.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clear paragraphing and a sensible airport-by-airport sequence make the report easy to follow, despite a few mechanical transitions.
Link the detail paragraphs through meaningful comparisons rather than stock phrases such as looking at the detail and however, if we look.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for describing trends, but fluctuant, peak point and repeated use of remarkably show uneven precision and naturalness.
Prefer natural terms such as fluctuating, peak, rose sharply and recovered when describing the changes.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences is generally accurate, though a few clauses are awkwardly joined or constructed.
Revise long trend sentences so each time reference and endpoint is attached clearly without comma splices.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the number of travellers using three major airports in New York City between 1995 and 2000.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.