You eat at your college cafeteria at lunch time every day.. However, you think it needs some improvements. Write a letter to the college magazine. In your letter: - explain what you like about the cafeteria - say what is wrong with it - suggest how it could be improved

Sample Response

1

Dear Sir or Madam,Dear Sir / Madam

2

I am writing in connection with our college cafeteria. Since almost every student spends some time here every day, I believe it is in everyone’s best interest to find ways to improve the quality of this central eatery.

3

The cafeteria itself is modern, spacious and attractive. The newly painted seaside muralsmurals of the seaside give the seating area an open, airy, outdoor feeling thatwhich makes it very pleasant to eat meals there. This is further enhanced by the large green plants and flowing water fountains.

4

The main problem with the cafeteria is in the food served! First of all, there is a very limited selection available. Each day offersoffers up only standard North American fare such as hamburgersfare of hamburgers, hot dogs, chicken nuggets and french fries. Not only is this selection unhealthy, but also uninteresting day in and day out. We have so many international students on campus, it would be wonderful to have some curries, burritos and falafel added to the menu. Secondly, since this is a student cafeteria, prices need to stay low. We have unfortunately seen two price hikes in the last two years.

5

I am sure that ifI am sure if we offer a wider range of foods, at better prices, the cafeteria will continue to run profitably as more students choose to eat there.

6

Yours faithfully,

7

Daniel Bernard

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 8.0

The letter is highly effective: it presents a clear purpose, develops praise and criticism with specific detail, and turns the identified problems into practical recommendations in a polished formal register. The main limitation is minor phrasing and punctuation unevenness in a few long sentences; the best improvement would be to tighten those constructions so the otherwise precise, persuasive message reads with complete fluency.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TA

Task Achievement

8.0
Scoring rule

The response fully covers what is liked, what is wrong, and how the cafeteria could improve, with relevant and persuasive development.

Next step

Make the final recommendation slightly more explicit by directly requesting that the magazine raise these proposals with the college.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

8.0
Scoring rule

Ideas are organised into a clear problem-and-solution progression, and cohesive devices guide the reader smoothly without becoming intrusive.

Next step

Break up the longest problem paragraph to give the menu and pricing issues equally clear emphasis.

LR

Lexical Resource

8.0
Scoring rule

Vocabulary is wide, precise, and well suited to a formal recommendation letter, with only occasional slightly awkward phrasing.

Next step

Replace phrases such as 'the problem ... is in the food served' with more idiomatic wording such as 'lies in the food on offer.'

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

8.0
Scoring rule

A broad range of sentence forms is used with strong control, and the few minor punctuation or construction issues do not affect clarity.

Next step

Add a comma after the introductory clause in the final conditional sentence and keep complex comparisons fully balanced.

Put the feedback to work

Write this task while it is fresh

Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.

IELTS General Training Writing Task 1

You eat at your college cafeteria at lunch time every day.. However, you think it needs some improvements. Write a letter to the college magazine. In your letter:

- explain what you like about the cafeteria

- say what is wrong with it

- suggest how it could be improved

Your response

Words0
20:00

Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.