People nowadays are not fit and active than the people from the olden days. Discuss the causes for this situation and suggest some possible solutions.
Sample Response
Ever since the beginninggenesis of industrialisation, human beings have gone through many different changes. This is evident from the fact that people are no longer as physically fit and active as they used to be. It is argued that the increasing use of technologyincreasing use of technology and the disappearance of many physically demanding jobsremoval of many physically demanding jobs are the two maincardinal reasons for this. To tackle these problems, educational programs and establishment of health facilities will be considered as possible solutionsanalysed for viability.
To begin, many individuals have made television and internet browsing their main leisure activitiesadopted television and internet browsing as their hobbies, which has led to them adopting sedentary lifestyles. To counter this, educational programs aimed at these people can educate them about the health risks of such a lifestylehazards such a lifestyle poses to the health of an individual. For instance, the government of Pakistan has run many infomercials in the past few yearsyear to Deleteincrease the awareness about the importance of exercising among the geriatric population. This, in turn, resultedWhich in turn, resulted in a lower number of elderly peoplelower number of elderly people reporting joint-related problemsjoint related problems in the coming years. Therefore, the effectiveness of such targeted campaigns can be clearly seen.
In addition, due to industrialisation, the nature of jobs around the world has moved from being physically demanding to service-orientedservice oriented. Consequently, a large proportion of people do nota large chunk of people does not get the necessary physical activity required to maintain good physical healthhave a sound body. To address this, the establishmentFor this, establishment of more health facilities around the residential areas is a plausible solution. For example, a psychological study, recently conducted, found that people are generally less likely to exercise if they have to travel a long distance to get to the exercise location. As this shows, the establishment of such facilities near people’s residences is an effective method to address lifestyle-related problems.
As is clear, targeted educational campaigns and setting up more health clubs are two effectual ways to make people form healthy habits and become healthy individuals. It is thus hoped that these strategies are implemented by governments and adopted by communitiesput into practice by the masses the world over.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay clearly identifies two plausible causes of declining fitness and pairs each with a relevant solution, using well-organised paragraphs and concrete examples. The main weakness is that one example makes an unsupported causal claim and several grammar and collocation errors interrupt otherwise fluent expression. Make examples more credible and cautious, and proofread articles, agreement, plurals, hyphenation, and sentence fragments.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The causes and solutions are directly addressed and well matched, though the infomercial example is asserted rather than convincingly demonstrated.
Explain practical implementation and use plausible evidence rather than claiming a campaign directly caused a medical outcome.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure is highly clear, with each body paragraph linking one cause to one solution and a logical conclusion; only a fragment and some mechanical signalling weaken flow.
Integrate examples grammatically and avoid stock phrases when a direct logical link is clearer.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise, but several phrases are inflated or inaccurate, such as cardinal reasons, analysed for viability, and sound body.
Prefer direct health-policy language such as main causes, assess, physical health, awareness, and accessible exercise facilities.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex forms is used effectively, but errors remain in articles, agreement, plurals, hyphenation, and one sentence fragment.
Check each sentence for a finite main verb and proofread countable nouns and compound modifiers.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
People nowadays are not fit and active than the people from the olden days. Discuss the causes for this situation and suggest some possible solutions.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.