Is it good for children to start using computers from an early age and spend long hours on them? Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.
Sample Response
In recent years, children, like adults, have become increasingly exposed to computers. While some child psychologists have claimed that this is a good thing, others have claimed that it has an overwhelmingly detrimental impact on children. In this essay, I shall draw upon a number of studies in cognitive science and industrial psychology that reveal the positive and negative aspects of this phenomenon.
To begin with, there are clearly reasons why computers do not allow children to develop long attention spans. This is because computers offer manycomputers are packed with many supposedly child-friendly games that require minimal concentrationminimal levels of concentration in order to be enjoyed.
For example, a study by the New York Child Learning Association found that children who read from picture books were 50% less likely to becomeget distracted than children who played educational computer games. Therefore, computersTherefore computers almost certainly have a negative impact on young children.
However, since the world has become heavily reliant on computers, there are also clearclearly advantages to exposing children to computers. This is because children with such exposure will stand a better chance of finding employment.
For example, after being interviewed by Yale psychologists, over 70% of young office workers admitted that they had spent long hours on computers in their middle and later childhoodmiddle and late childhood years. Therefore, itTherefore it is clear that computer exposure can be beneficial to children.
In conclusion, there are advantages and disadvantages to early computer exposure. However, if, in the future, the quality of educational games is improvedthe quality of educational gaming is increased, there is good reason to believe that these negative consequences will disappear entirelyfall entirely away.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response is strongest in its fluent, controlled presentation of one clear advantage and one clear disadvantage, each supported by a relevant example. Its main limitation is that the discussion remains narrow and the final prediction about educational gaming is insufficiently justified. The highest-priority improvement is to develop each side with more careful causal reasoning and make the conclusion follow directly from the arguments presented.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both sides are addressed with a clear central idea and relevant support, although the development is somewhat narrow and the final claim is speculative.
Develop each advantage and disadvantage through fuller causal explanation, then derive the conclusion directly from that discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through clearly separated stages, though the repeated reason-example-conclusion pattern is somewhat mechanical.
Vary the way supporting points are connected and combine closely related short paragraphs into more fully developed units.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and appropriately academic, with only occasional awkward phrasing such as the final prediction that consequences will fall away.
Refine less natural collocations and favour precise, restrained wording when expressing predictions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately and flexibly, with only minor punctuation lapses that do not affect clarity.
Polish comma use after introductory linking expressions while maintaining the existing variety of sentence structures.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Is it good for children to start using computers from an early age and spend long hours on them? Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.