You have approximately 40 minutes to complete this task. You need to write an essay addressing the topic below Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Your essay should comprise a minimum of 250 words.
Sample Response
There are differing viewswidely differing views on whether competition or cooperation is more advantageous in work, school, and daily life. Whilst some believe competition motivates individuals to excel, others think cooperation fosters a supportive and productive environment. Personally, I advocate for a balanced approach, recognizing the merits of both competition and cooperation.
On the one handOn one hand, competition can be a powerful driving force. This is because competitionit encourages individuals to strive for excellence, resulting in betterhigher performance and innovation. For instance, in educational settings, students who compete for top grades often invest significant effort into their studies, leading to a deeper understanding of the material and better academic outcomes. Similarly, in the workplace, competition can motivate employees to enhance their skills and productivity, ultimately improvingbenefiting the company’s performance. Thus, competition can promotecan be instrumental in promoting personal and organizational growth.
Conversely, cooperation is essential for cultivating a harmonious and efficient environment. This is becauseOne major reason for this is that collaborative efforts often lead to more effective problem-solving and innovation becauseas they combine diverse perspectives and skills. For example, in team projects at school or work, individuals who collaborate can leverage each other's strengths to achieve a common goal more efficiently than if they worked alone. Additionally, a cooperative environment can reduce stress and foster a sense of community and mutual supporta sense of community and support, which is crucial for mental health and well-being. Therefore, cooperation is invaluable in fostering teamwork, enhancing relationships, and creating a positive atmosphere.
In conclusion, while competition can drive individuals to achieve their best, cooperation is vital for creating a supportive and efficient environment. OverallHowever, I strongly feel that a balanced approach that incorporates both competition and cooperation, depending on the context, can yield the best outcomesthe most beneficial outcomes. By recognizing when to compete and when to collaborate, individuals and organizations can harness the strengths of both approaches to achieve their goals.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay fully addresses both perspectives and sustains a clear, nuanced preference for balancing competition with cooperation. Ideas are logically sequenced, well supported, and expressed through flexible, precise language, with only minor conventional or stylistic lapses. The best next step is to make the analysis even more discriminating by identifying specific contexts in which one approach should take priority over the other.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are directly examined, the balanced opinion is consistently maintained, and each position is supported with relevant explanation and examples.
Deepen the opinion by specifying the circumstances in which competition or cooperation is more appropriate instead of treating balance mainly in general terms.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses smoothly through well-focused paragraphs, with cohesive devices used clearly and appropriately.
Refine the transition into the first body paragraph by using the conventional phrase 'On the one hand' and vary a few explicit concluding signals.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary is used naturally to discuss motivation, productivity, collaboration, and well-being.
For further refinement, reduce slight repetition of words such as 'environment', 'foster', and 'achieve' by selecting equally precise alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is handled accurately, with only rare minor lapses that do not affect clarity.
Polish the few conventional phrasing details and check pronoun references in longer sentences to maintain consistently exact control.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
You have approximately 40 minutes to complete this task. You need to write an essay addressing the topic below Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Your essay should comprise a minimum of 250 words.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.