Some people think the newly built houses should be the same as the old housing styles in local areas. Others argue that local authorities should allow people to build houses in their own style. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
Many feel it is crucial that home owners possess the freedom to design their own property, while others feel there should be restrictions. In my opinion, the value of preserving the identity of a neighborhood outweighs the rights of property owners.
Those in favor of unfettered choice argue this can inspire and motivate. When an owner has the ability to express an individual vision, they are naturally more invested in developing their property. Examples of this abound in newer cities such as Shenzhen in mainland China. There is little history to disturb and therefore architects are encouraged to pursue a vision in concert with owners that is aesthetically pleasing and novel. The result is modern homes and offices that push the boundaries of design and in the aggregate contribute an energy and vitality that can enliven, or even revitalize in some cases, an urban area.
However, in the majority of communities it is more important to prioritize cultural preservation. This is because the unique character of many cities and neighborhoods is today under threat from the irreversible effects of globalization. A standout instance of this would be the old quarter in Hanoi in Vietnam. The government has imposed strict regulations in recent years as a growing middle class has attempted to modernize their living conditions. To preserve the historic character of the city, many new homes must meet certain guidelines, including having classic wooden shutters, employing older building materials and not demolishing noteworthy homes. These efforts in Hanoi and similar cities conserve essential and unique aspects of history and culture.
In conclusion, despite endeavors to allow for freedom of expression in design, I believe that it is generally more valuable to preserve historically relevant design principles. Governments must naturally balance this with a desire to modernize.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise concept Original: identity Suggested revision: character Why it matters: 'Character' more precisely describes a neighborhood's distinctive architectural qualities.
- 2. Mark introductory phrase Original: in the majority of communities Suggested revision: in the majority of communities, Why it matters: A comma helps separate this introductory prepositional phrase from the main clause.
- 3. Use natural word order Original: today Suggested revision: currently Why it matters: 'Currently' is more natural than placing 'today' between the verb and complement.
- 4. Use direct phrasing Original: A standout instance of this would be Suggested revision: A clear example is Why it matters: The shorter expression introduces the example more directly.
- 5. Avoid repeated prepositions Original: the old quarter in Hanoi in Vietnam Suggested revision: Hanoi's Old Quarter in Vietnam Why it matters: The possessive form removes the awkward repetition of 'in'.
- 6. Refine word choice Original: conserve essential and unique aspects Suggested revision: preserve distinctive aspects Why it matters: This is more concise and avoids the imprecise pairing of 'essential' and 'unique'.
- 7. Clarify the restriction Original: while others feel there should be restrictions Suggested revision: while others believe architectural design should be restricted Why it matters: The revision states directly what the proposed restrictions would govern.
- 8. Choose precise verb Original: developing Suggested revision: improving Why it matters: 'Improving' more clearly conveys the owner's investment in enhancing an existing property.
- 9. Use formal phrasing Original: Examples of this abound Suggested revision: Numerous examples of this can be found Why it matters: The revision is clearer and less literary in a formal argument.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: Those in favor of unfettered choice argue this can inspire and motivate. Suggested revision: Those in favor of unfettered choice argue that this freedom can inspire and motivate homeowners. Why it matters: The original leaves both the source and object of 'inspire and motivate' unclear.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: There is little history to disturb and therefore architects are encouraged to pursue a vision in concert with owners that is aesthetically pleasing and novel. Suggested revision: There is little architectural heritage to disrupt, so architects are encouraged to work with owners to pursue an aesthetically pleasing and novel vision. Why it matters: The rewrite removes the ambiguous relative clause that appears to modify 'owners'.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: To preserve the historic character of the city, many new homes must meet certain guidelines, including having classic wooden shutters, employing older building materials and not demolishing noteworthy homes. Suggested revision: To preserve the city's historic character, guidelines require new homes to have classic wooden shutters and older building materials, while also prohibiting the demolition of noteworthy homes. Why it matters: The original grammar incorrectly makes new homes the agents of demolishing other homes.
Suggested Rewrites
- identity character
- in the majority of communities in the majority of communities,
- today currently
- A standout instance of this would be A clear example is
- the old quarter in Hanoi in Vietnam Hanoi's Old Quarter in Vietnam
- conserve essential and unique aspects preserve distinctive aspects
Why this response received Band 9.0
The essay offers a clear, nuanced position and develops both views through specific, persuasive examples, with especially strong control of vocabulary and complex syntax. The main limitation is that the case for unrestricted design relies heavily on the exceptional context of a newer city, making that argument slightly less generalisable. The highest-priority improvement is to compare the conditions under which each policy would be most appropriate more explicitly.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are fully addressed, and the writer's preference for cultural preservation is consistently and convincingly developed.
Strengthen the comparison by stating more directly how local historical context determines which approach should prevail.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses seamlessly from the opposing view to the preferred position, with cohesive devices used unobtrusively.
Tighten the first body paragraph's final sentence slightly so its central consequence remains maximally prominent.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is exceptionally precise, flexible, and natural across abstract argument, architecture, and cultural preservation.
Maintain this precision while favouring the most concise phrasing where several sophisticated expressions cluster together.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A full range of complex structures is used with excellent control, clarity, and virtually error-free punctuation.
Continue varying sentence rhythm while preserving the same consistently accurate control of embedded clauses and modification.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think the newly built houses should be the same as the old housing styles in local areas. Others argue that local authorities should allow people to build houses in their own style. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.