Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Many argue that competing in a variety of daily environments is a positive, while others feel a focus on cooperation would be ideal. In my opinion, although competition can yield transformational results, it is more valuable to embrace cooperation as a guiding principle.
Those who argue in favor of competition contend that it serves as powerful motivation. Examples of the impact of competition exend to many segments of life, including school and work. In schools, the desire to compete can lead a student to study harder than their classmates in order to achieve better grades and secure esteem from teachers and family members. At work, competition for promotions and higher compensation packages is the entire reason that individuals work diligently in the majority of company contexts. However, at home, competition rarely has positive ramifications. Family members that are consistently competing for admiration and recoginition are likely to suffer from some degree of poor mental health.
Indeed, there is greater value in fostering a cooperative environment. When individuals work together in teams, whether it be at school, work, or in the home, they are more likely to experience high levels of motivation, and more crucially, enjoyment. Competition can serve as a catalyst for achievement but is unlikely to engender the same heights of unifying satisfaction. A standout example of this would be the dynamics present on a sports team at any level of competition. Even though the players on the team are engaged in a competition, the most memorable and lasting memories of their experiences are more likely to come from small moments of comradery shared with teammates. This is the reason that many cite times spent working in groups towards a common goal as the highlights of life.
In conclusion, although competition can encourage innovation, cooperation provides a more vital environment of mutual respect and enjoyment of life. Depending on the situation, it is therefore imperative to seek cooperative understanding.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Complete noun phrase Original: is a positive Suggested revision: is a positive force Why it matters: Positive is awkwardly used as a standalone noun here and needs a clear head noun.
- 2. Add required article Original: serves as powerful motivation Suggested revision: serves as a powerful motivation Why it matters: The singular countable phrase requires the article a.
- 3. Correct spelling Original: exend Suggested revision: extend Why it matters: Extend is misspelled.
- 4. Use natural collocation Original: secure esteem Suggested revision: earn respect Why it matters: People earn respect; secure esteem is not a natural collocation in this context.
- 5. Avoid absolute claim Original: the entire reason Suggested revision: a major reason Why it matters: This wording preserves the argument without making an unnecessarily absolute claim.
- 6. Use concise phrasing Original: in the majority of company contexts Suggested revision: in most workplaces Why it matters: Most workplaces conveys the same idea more directly and naturally.
- 7. Use who for people Original: that Suggested revision: who Why it matters: Who is the more appropriate relative pronoun for people.
- 8. Correct spelling Original: recoginition Suggested revision: recognition Why it matters: Recognition is misspelled.
- 9. Use natural phrasing Original: some degree of poor mental health Suggested revision: mental health difficulties Why it matters: This is a clearer and more natural way to describe the negative outcome.
- 10. Place commas correctly Original: motivation, and more crucially, enjoyment Suggested revision: motivation and, more crucially, enjoyment Why it matters: The parenthetical phrase should be enclosed by commas after the conjunction.
- 11. Clarify abstract phrase Original: the same heights of unifying satisfaction Suggested revision: the same degree of shared satisfaction Why it matters: This wording conveys the comparison more precisely and naturally.
- 12. Remove repetition Original: the most memorable and lasting memories Suggested revision: their most memorable and lasting experiences Why it matters: The original repeats memorable and memories unnecessarily.
Suggested Rewrites
- is a positive is a positive force
- serves as powerful motivation serves as a powerful motivation
- exend extend
- secure esteem earn respect
- the entire reason a major reason
- in the majority of company contexts in most workplaces
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay presents a clear preference for cooperation while giving both views substantial attention, and its strongest feature is the sustained development of ideas across school, work, home, and team settings. Its main limitation is that some claims are overstated and several spelling or word-choice slips weaken an otherwise polished style. The priority is to qualify sweeping assertions and complete a careful final proofread for lexical accuracy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views and the writer's opinion are clearly addressed through relevant, extended reasoning and illustrative contexts.
Qualify absolute claims about workplace motivation and make the cooperation example more directly comparative.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument is logically sequenced, well paragraphed, and connected with generally unobtrusive cohesive devices.
Tighten the transition within the competition paragraph so the shift from benefits to family drawbacks feels more deliberate.
Lexical Resource
The response shows broad, sophisticated vocabulary, but misspellings and a few strained collocations reduce precision.
Proofread spelling carefully and replace inflated phrases with simpler, more idiomatic alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentence forms are varied and largely accurate, with errors rare and communication consistently clear.
Check agreement and modifier choices in longer sentences to preserve accuracy at this high level.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.