Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on young children. Agree or disagree?
Sample Response
It is seen that the dailyrecurring use of computers has more negative than positive effectsadverse than favourable impacts on children. While I admit that excessive use of computers can harm children in many ways, these gadgets are also crucial for their success; hence, wehence we cannot stop them from using computers. I agree with this view and will discuss it in the following paragraphs.
On the one hand, the negative impacts of using a computer daily must be emphasized. Since young children have only developed limited self-controlacquired vague self-control, they are likely to become addicted to using computers, particularly for video gamesbe addicted to computers, particularly video games. Spending so much time on computer games, they will lose inquisitiveness in studying and cease communicating with their peers. Moreover, their values and understandingoutlooks of the natural world might not be well developed once they become absorbed in the virtual worldfall in love with the virtual world, negatively impacting their future.
Furthermore, it is commonusual for children who use the computer daily to becomeget obsessed with it. If one spends too much time on their computer, they will lose focus on their studies, and their grades will suffer. Teenagers who use the computer for long hours are also more likely to develop health problems such as eye strainhealth problems like eye problems and obesity because of their sedentary lifestyle. Unbridled screen time can also cause vision problems in children. As a result, using computers for long hours has both physical and psychological effects that can be especially damagingeffects that would be even more devastating for young children.
On the other hand, in this day and age, when computers are utilized in all spheres of life, it is imprudent to stop children from using them. They need computer proficiencyproficiency in computers to secure a good jobfind an excellent job in the future. Nowadays, they need to have access to computers even to perform wellhave computers to even score well in examinations. Hence, parents and teachers should encourage moderate use instead of preventing children from using computers. Computers and the internet are helpful to children in their studiesa boon to children with their studies if used wisely.
To conclude, “excess of everything is bad” is rightly said, and I acquiesce with it. It is a boon when someone uses the computer in moderationwithin a limit. However, unlimited use of the laptop turned this boon into a bane.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a clear, well-organised discussion of the risks of excessive computer use and the value of moderation, with relevant explanations of educational and health effects. Its main limitation is that the argument sometimes shifts from daily use to excessive use, making the degree of agreement less exact, while several ambitious word choices sound unnatural. Define the position against the prompt's precise wording and maintain it consistently through the conclusion.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the proposition and develops relevant negative and positive effects, although its position becomes less precise when daily use is reframed as excessive use.
State clearly whether ordinary daily use itself is more harmful than beneficial and make every paragraph support that exact position.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing and progression are clear, with ideas moving logically from harms to a qualified case for moderate use.
Reduce repetition between the two paragraphs on negative effects and give each one a more distinct purpose.
Lexical Resource
There is a good range of topic vocabulary, but several collocations and ambitious choices sound forced or imprecise.
Prefer natural phrases such as limited self-control and lose interest in studying over unnecessarily ornate alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures with generally good control, despite occasional reference, agreement, and tense errors.
Check pronoun consistency and verb tense carefully, especially when moving between general claims and concluding statements.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on young children. Agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.