People in many countries are spending less time with their family. What are the reasons? What are the effects of this trend?
Sample Response
It is common nowadays for people to devote too little timean inadequate amount of time to their family. This essay will present the possible causes and clarify the impacts of this phenomenon.
The insufficient time spent on family can be due to several reasons. Firstly, the excessive use of electronic devices isare considered one of the culprits. In fact, most people these days own at least one gadget that keeps them busy regardless of the time of daytime of the day. This means the number of hours that could have been spent with their loved ones might have to be sacrificed. Secondly, the increasing workload in modern society also makes it more challenging to spend time with familymaintain family presence. For example, many people with a nine-to-five job, who might be required to work overtimestruggling to deal with overtime work, can find family time a scarce commodity. Therefore, it is understandable that hectic schedules are taking away people’s quality time at home.
This tendency can haveinduce long-lasting negative effects. One impact that is worth mentioning is the weakening of family bondslack of family connection. Evidently, a healthy relationship is built on communication and mutual understanding, which cannot be achieved without frequent gatherings. Therefore, limited family time can lead to the risk of family members growing apartfamily distancing as well as a lack of emotional support. Moreover, the detrimental impact onto a child’s development should also be taken into account. As children grow up, parental guidance will help them develop a healthy mindset such as positive thinking and proper attitudes. Thus, children whose parents are often absentkids with absent parents might be prone to negativity or other mental problems.
In conclusion, it is the busy lifestyle and the overuse of electronics that makes family time a luxury for many. As a result, the relationships with their loved ones can be put at risk, while the children involved might be at greater risk of emotional problemsinclined to emotional issues.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response's strongest feature is its clear, balanced coverage of two causes and two consequences, supported by relevant explanation and a logical structure. Its main limitation is occasional imprecise or unnatural phrasing, while some supporting points remain fairly general. The highest priority is to develop each idea with a more concrete causal example while replacing awkward expressions with natural, precise collocations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both questions clearly and develops relevant causes and effects with generally sufficient explanation.
Support the main points with more specific real-world examples or fuller causal detail.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices generally clarify the relationships between points.
Use referencing and transitions more subtly to reduce reliance on formulaic linking phrases.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is varied and often effective, although several collocations such as family presence and family distancing sound unnatural.
Prioritise natural collocations and precise wording when describing relationships and emotional consequences.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of complex structures is used with generally strong control, despite occasional agreement and preposition errors.
Check subject-verb agreement and dependent prepositions carefully during proofreading.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
People in many countries are spending less time with their family. What are the reasons? What are the effects of this trend?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.