The economic development plays a major role in people’s lives. Economic growth in both developed and developing countries make the country richer, but it is believed that people in developing countries are happier that those in developed ones. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Economic advancement is one of the chief goals of every nation and its government across the globe. The economic state of a country greatly determines the standard of living of that country’s population. That being said, measures such asestimates like national incomethe national income of a nation are reliable indicators of the general well-being of a nation and its position in global rankingswhere it stands according to global rankings. It is widely believed that economic growth has a greater impact on developing nations than on developed onesgreater impact in developing nations than developed ones. I strongly agree with this notion and I will support my view in the following essay.
First and foremost, we must acknowledge the major differences between a developing and a developed nationa third-world and a first-world nation to understand the significance of economic progress in both. It is widely accepted thatIt is a known fact that first-world nations have completedpassed all the stages of industrialization and have capitalist economiesare capitalist in nature, whereas third-world countries are yet to reach this stagethe ones that are yet to reach this stage and cannot be deemed eithercannot be deemed as either capitalist or socialist. With that in mind, there is little room for further improvement in developed nations as they have already gone through all major stages of economic development as opposed to economically developing nations where there is still much potential for progress.
Furthermore, as a majority of the population of an underdeveloped country is engaged in the primary and secondary sectors of the economy, the creation of more employment opportunities in the tertiary sector is beneficial for these countriesa blessing for these countries. Since jobs in the tertiary sector are less physically demanding and provide better remuneration, they are in greater demandthey are demanded more by the people. Thus, when economic growth facilitates the operation of multinational corporations in developing countries, leadingdeveloping countries leading to more employment in the tertiary sector, the general standard of living is bound to improve, enablingimprove enabling a happier outlook on life among the people.
However, such advancements are rare and many developing nationsa majority of underdeveloped nations suffer from incompetent administration and corruptcorrupted officials. Nevertheless, there are opportunities for improvementavenues for betterment for these nations as the general awareness of the public regarding their rights has increasedenhanced over the past few years.
Finally, I would like to conclude by saying that progress has a greater impact where it is needed the most. Thereby, the efforts of the government and the people in improving the country economically are more significant in third-world nations.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is strongest in its fluent academic style, varied vocabulary, and controlled complex sentences. Its central limitation is task interpretation: it mainly argues that economic growth has greater impact in developing countries, while the prompt asks whether people there are happier than those in developed countries. The highest-priority improvement is to compare happiness directly in both settings and support that comparison with relevant reasoning and examples.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response presents and develops a clear view about the impact of growth, but it only indirectly addresses the required comparison of happiness.
Frame the thesis and body paragraphs around whether people in developing countries are happier, with explicit comparison to developed countries.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are arranged in a generally logical sequence with clear paragraphing, though the brief paragraph on governance is tangential and weakens progression.
Remove or integrate the governance digression and make each paragraph advance the same direct comparison introduced in the thesis.
Lexical Resource
The response demonstrates a broad academic vocabulary with generally effective control, despite some imprecise or unnatural choices.
Choose more exact expressions, replacing items such as corrupted officials, are demanded more, and awareness has enhanced with natural alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately overall, with occasional agreement, punctuation, and modifier problems.
Refine long sentences by checking clause boundaries, subject-verb agreement, and punctuation around result and participle phrases.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The economic development plays a major role in people’s lives. Economic growth in both developed and developing countries make the country richer, but it is believed that people in developing countries are happier that those in developed ones. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.