Many newspapers and magazines feature stories about the private lives of famous people. We know what they eat, where they buy their clothes, and who they love. We also often see pictures of them in private situations. Is it appropriate for a magazine or newspaper to give this kind of private information about people?

Same questionCompare 2 different answers (Band 6–7)

Sample Response

1

It is true that articles published in the print media include information about celebrities' private livesprivate life information of celebrities. Sometimes intricate details of their personal lives are covered on a regular basison regular basis such as food, shopping, and partners etcetera. And many times including visuals of their intimate moments. I believe that it is a matter of each reader's personal choicematter of the personal choice of a reader.

2

On the one hand, it is advantageous in many ways as it inspires people in food, fashion, the entertainment industry, and the general public. It generates business opportunities as well. In addition to that, what one reads is a matter of personal selection, and it is not enforced to read such articles. Many celebrities look for any opportunity for publicity and do not shy away from even sharingshy away to even share the bedroom details. The recent examples being Paris Hilton andParis Hilton, and Kim Kirdarshan.

3

On the other hand, inappropriate content is readilyanyway available on websitesover internet websites and even on mobile phones and hence it is difficult to control and draw a line. Moreover, reality shows on televisionover TV channels expose more of celebrities' livesmore life or celebrities than print media which is consumed by adults and teenagers alike. Hence restricting itputting a check on it may prove futilemay render it futile. It is a vicious circle of supply and demanddemand and supply vicious circle.

4

In conclusion, there are benefits and drawbacks of publishing intricateintricates details of high profile people’s private life, however, the print media aloneprint media alone is not responsible for these harmsresponsible for perils. One has the liberty to read or watch the content of their choice and how they interpret it is up to themhow they take it is their discretion therefore print media can not be blamed.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.0

The response has a discernible position and a broadly logical progression from claimed benefits to the difficulty of controlling such coverage. Its main limitation is that several ideas are only loosely connected to whether publishing private information is appropriate, while explanations and examples remain brief. The highest-priority improvement is to answer that ethical question directly and develop two clearly relevant reasons with precise support.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TR

Task Response

6.0
Scoring rule

A position is present and the question is generally addressed, but the discussion focuses unevenly on consumer choice and regulation rather than fully evaluating appropriateness.

Next step

State a direct judgement about privacy and develop each reason with a clear explanation of why publication is or is not acceptable.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

6.0
Scoring rule

The paragraph sequence is easy to follow, although mechanical linking, short fragments, and loosely connected claims weaken progression within paragraphs.

Next step

Use complete topic-led paragraphs in which each supporting sentence clearly develops the same central claim.

LR

Lexical Resource

6.0
Scoring rule

The response shows adequate range for the topic, but inaccurate word forms and collocations such as “intricates details” and “expose more life” reduce precision.

Next step

Prioritise natural collocations and check word forms, especially when using less familiar vocabulary.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

5.5
Scoring rule

A mix of structures is attempted, but fragments, article and preposition errors, and poorly controlled sentence boundaries occur frequently.

Next step

Write complete sentences and proofread each complex sentence for articles, clause boundaries, and punctuation.

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IELTS Writing Task 2

Many newspapers and magazines feature stories about the private lives of famous people. We know what they eat, where they buy their clothes, and who they love. We also often see pictures of them in private situations. Is it appropriate for a magazine or newspaper to give this kind of private information about people?

Your response

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