Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Sample Response
It is argued by some professionals that childrenadolescents should learn an extra language along with the local language of their country in their primarykindergarten school instead of learning in secondary school.This essay will discuss both advantages and disadvantagesboth advantage and disadvantage and will arguesubmit that the benefits far outweigh the drawbacksthe benefits are far reaching than the drawbacks. Learning a second languagedialect in primary school has considerable practical benefitsoutstanding prospects in practical life.When a person used to know a second language in their junior school,they would have better opportunities during applying for a job or working with a high standard company.As a matter of fact,nowadays, employers demand extraordinarilyextraordinary skilled graduates with creative mindsmind,who are multilingual and articulatemultilingual and outspoken, and all these qualities are developedaccessed by being a bilingual person.Research has shownMany researches showed that learning an additional languageto learn an extra language helps in developing a creative mind, and these individuals are more creative than monolinguals.Moreover,it is commonly noticed that multilingual studentsmulti-dialect students have exceptional grades in academicprofessional studies.Therefore,I personally believe a multilingual person has widespread advantages in the future besides being in the present too. Nevertheless,primary school pupilsgoers are atin an impressionable age and having an extra course can be burdensome for themtiresome to them.During middle grade studies,a student has to study a number of subjects and if an additional part is also included with the majors,could prove a burden and ultimately failure in the school.For instance,many people feel that inclusion of an unimportant topic has many bad outcomes regarding performance and health too.However,most of the student do not face these type of problems until they have proper guidance and support. In,learning a second language in primary school has prominent advantages in term of better career prospects, creative thinking and most effectively,excellent results in tertiary school education,while being losing in their exam due to extra subject is taken as a negative notion.However,proper counselling can prevent this effect too.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response clearly concludes that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks and discusses relevant advantages and a plausible disadvantage. Its strongest feature is the range of supporting ideas, but development is sometimes general and frequent awkward phrasing and grammatical errors blur the reasoning. The highest priority is to organise the comparison into clear paragraphs and express each claim in shorter, accurately controlled sentences with specific evidence.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both sides and maintains a clear comparative position, though several claims rely on broad assertions rather than developed evidence.
Explain why early language study produces each claimed benefit and use a specific example before weighing it against the disadvantage.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas follow a generally logical advantages-to-disadvantages sequence, but the single block of text and crowded linking reduce clarity.
Create separate introduction, advantage, disadvantage, and conclusion paragraphs, and use cohesive phrases only where the logical relationship is explicit.
Lexical Resource
A reasonably broad topic vocabulary is attempted, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices make several points sound unnatural.
Choose precise expressions such as foreign language, highly skilled graduates, and academic performance, and avoid substituting dialect where it is inaccurate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied complex structures, but errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, and clause construction occur throughout.
Use shorter sentence patterns for key claims and proofread each clause for a subject, a correctly formed verb, and accurate noun agreement.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.