We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. they are used in business, hospitals, crime detection, and even to fly planes. what things will they be used for in the future? is this dependence on computers id good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits?
Sample Response
In thethis modern era, computers are a relatively new invention. Thethe first computers were built fifty years ago and it is only in the last twenty or thirty years that their useinfluence has affected our everyday liveslife. Personalpersonal computers were introduced as recently as the early eighties. Inin this short time, they have made a tremendous impact on our lives. Wewe are now so dependent on computers that it is hard to imagine what lifethings would be like today without them. You only have to goyou have only got to go into a bank when its main computer breaks downwhen their main computer is broken to appreciate the chaos that would occur if computers were suddenly removed worldwide.
In the future, computers will be used to create largerbigger and even more sophisticated computers. The prospect of thisthe prospectus for this is quite alarming. Theythey will be so complex that no individual could hope to understand how they work. Theythey will bring a lot of benefits but they will also increase the risk of unimaginable chaosincrease the potential for unimaginable chaos. Theythey will, for example, be able to fly planes and they will be able to coordinate the movements of several planes in the vicinity of an airport. Provided that all the computers are working correctly,providing all the computers are working correctly nothing can go wrong.
It is inevitable thatThere is a certain inevitability that technology will progress and become increasingly complex. Wewe should, however, ensure that we are still able to controlstill in a position where we are able to control technology. Itit will be all too easy to suddenly discover that technology is controlling us. Byby then it might be too late. I believe that it is very important to be suspicious of the benefits that computers will bring and make sure that we never become totally dependent on a completely technological world.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response communicates a consistent caution about computer dependence and develops a coherent progression from present reliance to future risks. However, its treatment of future uses is narrow and partly repeats the prompt's example of flying planes, so one required part is only adequately covered. Add two distinct, specific future applications and explain their benefits and risks before weighing them against the stated position.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are addressed and the position is clear, but future applications are limited and insufficiently developed.
Develop several genuinely new future uses rather than relying mainly on the prompt's example of computers flying planes.
Coherence and Cohesion
The three-paragraph progression is clear and cohesive, although repeated pronoun-led sentences make parts of the argument feel mechanical.
Use more varied referencing and clearer topic sentences to distinguish future applications, risks, and the final judgement.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for abstract discussion, including terms such as inevitability and sophisticated, but repetition and occasional misuse reduce precision.
Replace the incorrect prospectus with prospect and vary repeated references to computers and technology.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentences with generally clear meaning, but sentence-initial capitalisation errors occur throughout.
Capitalise every new sentence and proofread subordinate clauses for complete punctuation and grammatical control.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. they are used in business, hospitals, crime detection, and even to fly planes. what things will they be used for in the future? is this dependence on computers id good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.