Smoking is a major cause of serious illness and death throughout the world today. In the interest of the public health, governments should ban cigarettes and other tobacco products. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Many people todayMany today are advocating a complete bancalling for a complete ban on tobacco related products due to their health effects. In my opinion, since tobacco offers few tangible benefits, such a prohibition would be justified.
Opponents of such a policy argue that it conflicts with individual freedom and economic interestsindividual and economic freedom. Firstly, individuals should have the right to live their liveslife as they wish as long as they are not harming others. This is the basic tenet that underlies most democratic societies and smoking cigarettes falls firmly within the sphere of individual rightsthis sphere of an individual’s rights. Secondly, there are also economic consequencesthere is an economic factor. Tobacco companies produce billions of cigarettes a year, providing employment and paying significant taxes throughout the process. If these companies were suddenly forced to declare bankruptcy and shut down, it would have catastrophic short-term effects on the economies of both developed and developing nations. The economic downsides alone could, temporarily, do more harm than good.
However, tobacco is an almost entirely harmful productan almost entirely harmful product in its effects. In contrast to other substancesnarcotics, such as caffeine, alcohol, and cannabis, there is no discernible sensation produced by smoking cigarettes or chewing tobacco. Tobacco contains nicotine, which is highly addictive and causes chemical dependenceengenders a chemical dependency, and that is the reason it has become such a common habit. Moreover, there are meaningful health problems that for smokers as well as unintended parties through second-hand smoke. It is common for long-time smokers to suffer from a weakened immune system, conditions like emphysema, and an increased risk of lung cancerincreased risk for lung cancer. These maladies place an added burden on the healthcare systemthe health system and hospitals.
The limited benefits of cigarettes compared with the massive potential health costs for individuals and society justify the ban. Individuals have always had to sacrifice elements of freedom in order to ensure greater security and this issue is only viewed differently for historical reasons.
Why this response received Band 8.0
This response presents a clear, well-supported position and handles the opposing case with convincing economic and individual-freedom arguments before rebutting it through health and social costs. Its main limitation is that a few claims are asserted too broadly and several expressions contain small grammatical or collocational slips; the priority is to qualify contentious claims and polish those local errors while retaining the strong development.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear throughout, and both the counterargument and the case for prohibition are relevant and well developed.
Qualify debatable assertions, especially the claim that tobacco produces no discernible sensation, to make the reasoning more precise.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a focused introduction, a substantial opposing case, a rebuttal, and a concise conclusion.
Make the final link between historical acceptance and the proposed ban more explicit so the conclusion follows even more tightly from the discussion.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary supports nuanced argument, with effective items such as tenet, engenders, catastrophic, and maladies.
Refine occasional awkward collocations, such as the phrasing around health problems for smokers, while preserving the natural academic register.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a wide range of complex structures accurately, and the few errors do not impede communication.
Proofread for isolated agreement and sentence-construction slips, including individuals living their lives and the malformed health-problems clause.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Smoking is a major cause of serious illness and death throughout the world today. In the interest of the public health, governments should ban cigarettes and other tobacco products. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.