Some people say that People give more emphasize on outlook and spend more time on that than the past. What is your opinion on that? How has this trend changed over the decade?
Sample Response
At the present time, people are concerned about their appearance more than in the past. Throughout history, beauty valued very high. It is believed that human beings nowadays spendspending more time on their appearanceoutward than their ancestors did. This will be shown by taking into account comparing past and present usage of cosmetics and plastic operation in our daily life. Firstly, usage of cosmetics was popular since the dawn of time and today's life it isn't an exception. For example, in the past people also applied a lot of makeup to their facesapplied a lot of cosmetics on their face to look more beautiful, even thoughdespite that some of them were harmful or even life-threateningdangerous for life. Nowadays we can see a similar situation: people usesituation, people using cosmetics even thoughin spite of that they don't really know what they containwhat it contains. But in today's world, we have surgery, which can help us to eliminatedispose of from perceived flaws in our appearanceour outward shortcomings. As my example shows, there weren't any specific changes in usage but currently, we have more ways to improve our appearancemake better our outward appearance. In addition to this, medicine also helps us to hide our shortcomings and one option is plastic surgeryone of them plastic surgery operation. Changing one's natural bodyChanging of God-given body can be really harmful to one's health and can even be fatalyour health and even kill you because it carries risks that may causebecause it has some defects which cause incurable diseases like cancer and papilotomia. Therefore, doctors don't recommend you change your body or face. It's obvious from my example that people are ready to endure all kinds of pain and harmpeople ready to all kind of pain and harm just to look goodonly for looking good. Having analysedFollowing the analysing at how people used cosmetics in the past and how they use it now, in my view, there was only little change. It has been proven that people ready to all risks just for the beautiful face.
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response offers relevant comparisons between past and present beauty practices and identifies cosmetic surgery as a newer means of changing appearance. However, its position on whether concern has increased is inconsistent, development is repetitive, and the single-paragraph structure obscures the progression. The highest-priority improvement is to establish one clear answer to both questions, then develop separate paragraphs with focused comparisons and credible supporting examples.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses appearance and historical change, but its claim of greater concern conflicts with the conclusion that little has changed, and support is limited.
State a consistent opinion and explain separately how the amount of attention and the available methods have changed over the specified period.
Coherence and Cohesion
A basic line of thought can be followed, but the absence of paragraphing, repetitive conclusions, and weak sentence connections limit progression.
Organise the response into an introduction, one focused paragraph on past-versus-present change, one on the writer’s opinion, and a concise conclusion.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary to discuss the topic, but frequent inaccurate word choice and collocation make many expressions unnatural or imprecise.
Use familiar accurate phrases such as “physical appearance,” “cosmetic surgery,” and “take risks” instead of forcing less suitable alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is generally recoverable, but frequent errors in verb forms, articles, agreement, and sentence boundaries reduce clarity and control.
Build complete sentences with explicit subjects and finite verbs, then check articles and plural forms before attempting longer complex structures.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that People give more emphasize on outlook and spend more time on that than the past. What is your opinion on that? How has this trend changed over the decade?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.