Some people think that in order to produce a happy society, it is necessary to ensure that there is only a small difference between the earnings of the richest and poorest. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Sample Response

1

It is sometimes asserted that creating a contented society requires narrowingminimizing the income gap between the wealthiest and the poorest. I largely disagree with this assertion, as narrowing the income gappay parity can inhibit economic growth and equality even though social cohesion can be improved. The primary reason for my disapproval of limiting the income gap to create a contentedcontent society lies in the potential economic harmdownsides. When people are prevented from earning as much as their abilities allowrestricted from earning to their full potential, they often lose motivation to innovate and develop commercially viable solutionsdevelop profitable solutions to existing problems. If Elon Musk had not been allowed to earn billions, the world might never have seen the rise of affordable electric cars, which are now contributing significantly to environmental protection efforts. Another reason I oppose manipulating wealth distributionAnother reason I support not manipulating wealth distribution is the perceived injustice. It is undeniable that income should reflect an individual’s effort and expertiselevel of effort and expertise. Those who possess relevant skillspossess the right skills and work diligently to the development of an organization or countryfor the development of an organization or a country deserve higher pay than those who make smaller contributionsthose whose contributions are less significant. If highly competent individuals receive salaries similar to those of less competent colleaguesreceive similar salaries to less competent ones, it could lead to feelings of unfairness and dissatisfaction. However, I recognize the potential for a more cohesive society when income gaps are reduced. This is because people with similar incomes tend to share comparable lifestyles and attitudes. For example, many citizens in Cuba reportedly live frugally and behave amicablydisplay frugality and friendliness becauseas they receive roughly equal earnings from the central government, leading to fewer socialdivisive conflicts and a stronger sense of community. In conclusion, I mostly disagree with the idea that maintaining a small gap between people’s earnings is necessary for a contented societysocial satisfaction, as it can hinder economic development and create unfairness despite supporting social cohesionrepresent unfairness in support of social cohesion. Therefore, governments should encourage innovation for wealth creation and allocate a portion of the resulting prosperity to support the less fortunate.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.0

The response maintains a clear qualified disagreement and supports it with distinct arguments about incentives, fairness, and cohesion; its range of complex sentences is particularly strong. However, it sometimes treats a small earnings gap as complete pay equality, and several examples or phrases are overgeneralised or imprecise. Address the exact degree of inequality more carefully and organise the ideas into clear paragraphs to strengthen both relevance and progression.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TR

Task Response

7.0
Scoring rule

A clear position is supported by several relevant arguments, but parts of the reasoning address equal pay rather than a narrower earnings gap.

Next step

Engage directly with how small the income difference should be and why that degree would affect social happiness.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

6.5
Scoring rule

The argument follows a logical sequence and uses cohesive language effectively, but the response is presented as one continuous paragraph.

Next step

Separate the introduction, main arguments, concession, and conclusion into distinct paragraphs with clear central topics.

LR

Lexical Resource

7.0
Scoring rule

Vocabulary is varied and ambitious, although several word choices and formulations are awkward, imprecise, or overly absolute.

Next step

Use more exact language for income inequality and replace phrases such as 'content society' with natural collocations.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

8.0
Scoring rule

A wide range of complex structures is handled with strong control, and grammatical errors are rare and non-impeding.

Next step

Polish a few densely constructed sentences so logical relationships remain exact as well as grammatically accurate.

Put the feedback to work

Write this task while it is fresh

Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.

IELTS Writing Task 2

Some people think that in order to produce a happy society, it is necessary to ensure that there is only a small difference between the earnings of the richest and poorest. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your response

Words0
40:00

Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.