By punishing murderers with the death penalty, society is also guilt of committing murder. Therefore, life in prison is a better punishment for murderers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Sample Response
I strongly support the death penalty for murderers. In today's society, violence is widespreadlife is very violent. There are many mentally ill peoplementally-ill people committing crimes and almost nothing will stop them. We have interviewed captured criminals who say, "I was going to kill him, but I knew that I could get the death penalty if I did. So I just left him there." Obviously, retaininghaving the death penalty saves lives, which makessaves lives and that makes a positive difference to society.
If a criminal murders someonedoes murder someoneand then receives, and then gets the death penalty, that isn't society's fault. Everyone knows about the death penalty as a punishment for murder. Therefore, a murdererSo, the person who murders is really killing himself at the same time he is killing his victim. The murderer has made the choice to die.
It is important to remember that the death penalty is imposed only on peopleused only for people who have committed very serious crimes. For example, a woman shot a police officer when she was trying to escape from jail. She was already a convicted criminal when she committed murder, and she deserves the death penalty.
People need to accept responsibility for their actions. Punishing murderers with the death penalty is one way that society can help people to realiserealize/realise the consequences of their decisions.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response has a decisive position, a logical sequence of arguments, and generally controlled, easy-to-follow language. However, at only 210 words, its claims about deterrence, personal responsibility, and deserving punishment remain somewhat asserted rather than critically developed, so the highest-priority improvement is to add a fuller explanation of why these arguments outweigh the ethical case for life imprisonment.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained with relevant reasons and examples, but the under-length response leaves key arguments insufficiently developed.
Extend the analysis beyond assertion by directly answering the ethical objection and comparing the death penalty with life imprisonment.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically sequenced into purposeful paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the reader clearly with only minor simplicity.
Strengthen progression further by using each paragraph's final sentence to connect its evidence explicitly back to the central claim.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied and generally precise, though a few choices are awkward and the phrasing is sometimes repetitive.
Use more precise legal and ethical vocabulary while avoiding awkward forms such as mentally-ill and alternatives separated by a slash.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of simple and complex structures is used with strong overall control and only occasional minor lapses.
Refine punctuation and clause linking so that the more conversational sentences read in a consistently formal academic style.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
By punishing murderers with the death penalty, society is also guilt of committing murder. Therefore, life in prison is a better punishment for murderers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.