Whoever controls the media also controls opinions and attitudes of the people and there is little can be done to rectify this. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
There are numerous companies and organizationsorganization that controlwho takes control our global media system. Therefore, they are inevitably capable of influencing people'speople thoughts and attitudes. Furthermore, the media makes up athe significant part of our lives; hence, there are not many ways to address this problemsolutions to solve this problem. We are able to access the internet whenever and wherever we like on our smart phones, laptops and computers.
A large number of peopleLarge number of people use the media foruse media for searching for information, checking news, communicating, or entertaining themselvessearching information, updating news, communicating, or even entertaining. Hence, they will definitely absorb what is presented to them through the mediaabsorb what they are presented through the media and, consequently, the media will influence the users into believing itbelieving in the them. For instanceinstances, if people watch advertisements for a productthe commercials about any product frequently, they will eventually be induced to buy that product. This is how most media outlets workThis how most of the media work; they are persuasive and convincingconvincible. Consequently, people’s minds are strongly affectedabsolutely are effected by receiving these things repeatedly.
Teenagers, who tendtends to be gullible, are usually the main target of the media. Moreover, most of them love and admire celebrities and singers around their age and take them as their role modelsand takes them as there role model. Of course, the companies wantwants to sell their records and moviesmovie and therefore, use commercials to influence the young ones.
In addition, television broadcasters have the righttelevision-programming companies are having a right to present anything that they want to. As a resultresults, movies on our television are sometimes violentabusive and cruel, which are not suitable for young children. Small kids don’t have enough justification to judge from what is right or what is wrong in the media. Consequently, they might emulate these behaviors, making them become more aggressive towards their families and friends.
In conclusion, people who have the dominate the media are also able to control people attitudes and opinions. Thfore, people should be more considerate toward the information presented to us through the media.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response offers a recognizable position and several relevant examples of media influence, with a broadly understandable progression from advertising to effects on young people. Its main limitation is incomplete treatment of whether anything can be done to counter such control, compounded by frequent grammatical and word-choice errors. The priority is to develop the rectification issue directly while editing agreement, articles, possessives, and word forms sentence by sentence.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay explains several ways media can influence people, but it gives little developed attention to whether that influence can be rectified.
Devote a main paragraph to possible responses or their limitations and connect it explicitly to the claimed extent of agreement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing and basic progression are evident, although linking is mechanical and some references and logical connections are unclear.
Use fewer formulaic connectors and make each paragraph’s main claim and supporting example follow a clearer logical sequence.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficient for the topic, but frequent spelling, word-form, collocation, and selection errors reduce precision.
Prioritise accurate common expressions such as ‘affected by’, ‘role model’, and ‘judge what is right’ before attempting less familiar wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some sentence variety is attempted, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, plurals, possessives, and clause construction reduce accuracy.
Proofread every sentence for subject–verb agreement and noun form, then correct missing articles and possessive markers.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Whoever controls the media also controls opinions and attitudes of the people and there is little can be done to rectify this. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.