Nowadays parents put a lot of pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a positive or negative development?
Sample Response
It has been increasingly common for parents to require their children to excel at school and in other competitive environments, often at the expense of most other interestsat the price of sacrificing most other interests. This result-oriented approach is, according to those in favour of it, a necessary evil to give young learners a competitive edge before they reach adulthood, preventing them from missing precious opportunities or progressing too slowly. Is this claim justified?
There are two main reasons for adopting a strict tiger parenting style. The first reasonThe one that attracts the most publicity is scarcity-induced fear. The fact that academic excellence is the main factor in admissionsthe main admission factor for top schools and colleges means that when parents arrange their children’s schedulesschedule, they tend to prioritize resume-worthy activities and expect them to produce results that justify the time and money invested. Another reason is the perception that performance equals competence. Rather than encouraging their children to explore and find their passion, many are more concerned with their exam and competition resultsexams and contest results and so leave their learning needs unmet and their potential undevelopedleave their learning needs and potential unattended.
The natural consequences of paying too much attention to results can be serious. A major problem is the long-term effect on skill development. Being trained to achieve good grades and win competitions does not mean that children have developed independent-thinking and communication skills, which are essential for functioning as members of societyindependent thinking and communication skills, essential assets of functioning members of society. Also, the parents’ high regard for excellence can create feelings of alienation and low self-esteemcan create a sense of alienation and lower self-esteem. Given high levels of academic pressure, young learners may face harsh criticism which creates self-doubt about their abilities and intelligence, giving them the impressionresulting in an impression that they are unworthy of their parents’ attention.
In general, although competition is fierce for the best education and career, demanding that one’s children bedemanding one’s children to be nothing but the best at school and elsewhere is not the wisest approach. Alternatively, attention should be paid to what they need for their long-term growth and happiness.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response's strongest feature is its incisive, well-organised explanation of both parental motivations and the damaging consequences of excessive pressure, supported by precise and sophisticated language. Its main limitation is that some claims remain abstract rather than being grounded in a concrete illustration. The highest-priority improvement is to develop one consequence through a specific, plausible example while preserving the essay's clear negative position.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response fully addresses both questions with a clear negative position and well-developed explanations of causes and consequences.
Strengthen the argument further by adding one concrete example that demonstrates a stated consequence in practice.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a focused introduction, distinct cause and consequence paragraphs, and a concise conclusion.
Make the transition from the discussion of causes to consequences slightly more explicit to sharpen the overall argumentative progression.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary conveys nuanced ideas naturally, including effective phrases such as scarcity-induced fear and competitive edge.
Refine the few slightly awkward collocations, particularly the construction demanding one's children to be, for consistently idiomatic expression.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex structures is used accurately and flexibly, with only rare non-impeding slips.
Polish the occasional awkward infinitive or noun-phrase construction while retaining the current variety of sentence forms.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays parents put a lot of pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a positive or negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.