Some believe that only people with more years in a company must get promotions. What is your opinion?

Sample Response

1

It is considered that years’ experience is guaranteed promotion of any employee in a company. FromIn my perspective, years of service aloneonly many years cannot determine the promotion of a person. Other factors such as a person’s hard work, qualificationspersons hard work, qualification and involvement in company activities outside workoutdoor activities of a company also matter.

2

To begin with, Although one cannot deny the reality that spending many years in a company bring promotion to them. In other words, every worker starts on a standard salaryhas started from standard payment, and he receives an annual pay risehe gets an increase in wages annually and moving to another positiontransferring to another designation is a long process. So, they must be promoted. But I consider athat person’s hard work and qualifications do make a difference. For instance, if any newcomer has just started his career in any firm and does hard labour to make a profit for his company; then, he must not be deprived of getting any promotion. He is equally eligible for advancementequally able to get advancement in his respective job. To be more specific, what is the use of that if a person spends many yearsspends his many years in a firm, butfirm; but, his contribution to the betterment of a company is insignificantinconsiderable. So, other factors must be considered while making promotion decisionsmaking any encouragement in employment.

3

Furthermore, if a person is improving his qualificationsupgrading his qualification and improving his communication skills; and adaptingadopting himself according to the requirements of a company; then, he is also able to advance to a higher positionimprove his designation. So, years of service are not the only factoronly utilising many years is not only a single factor that determines the promotion of a person. For instance, in some corporations, it is expected that employees must be equipped with certain soft skills because they deal with different clients across the countrydue to dealing with different clients of a nation. So, if a worker is investing his time to improve his personality, even at a young age; then, he should be considered for further pay increasesmust be pondered to get further increments. This thing will motivate them to do their best for the upliftment of a company.

4

To conclude Thus, I think a long time in any organisation does not tell that a person is able to get a promotion. Other factors must be met for encouraging the workers to do valuable activities for their company. If it is done, a ray of hope will arise among personnel to do hard work to get a promotion at any age within the specific time period.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.0

The response states a consistent opinion and offers relevant reasons for considering performance, qualifications, and communication skills alongside seniority. Its main limitation is that these ideas become repetitive and are frequently expressed through inaccurate collocations and unstable sentence structures, weakening clarity and force. The highest priority is to build fewer, more fully developed arguments using precise employment vocabulary and carefully controlled complex sentences.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TR

Task Response

6.5
Scoring rule

A clear opinion is maintained and supported with relevant alternatives to seniority, although some points are repetitive or only loosely explained.

Next step

Select two distinct promotion criteria and develop each through a clear explanation and a specific, plausible workplace example.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

6.0
Scoring rule

Paragraphing provides a recognizable progression, but repetitive discourse markers and loosely connected sentences make the argument feel mechanical.

Next step

Organize each body paragraph around one controlling idea and use referencing and transitions selectively rather than repeatedly beginning sentences with So.

LR

Lexical Resource

6.0
Scoring rule

The response attempts a reasonably broad employment-related vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices sometimes obscure the intended meaning.

Next step

Use precise workplace expressions such as promotion criteria, job performance, professional development, and consideration for advancement.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

5.5
Scoring rule

Some complex forms are attempted, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, possessives, punctuation, and clause construction limit grammatical control.

Next step

Build complete sentences with one clear main clause, then check agreement and punctuation before adding subordinate clauses.

Put the feedback to work

Write this task while it is fresh

Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.

IELTS Writing Task 2

Some believe that only people with more years in a company must get promotions. What is your opinion?

Your response

Words0
40:00

Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.