It has been proven that smoking kills. In some countries, it has been made illegal for people to smoke in all public places except in certain areas. All countries should make these rules. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Sample Response
Smoking is dangerous and harmfulinjurious to health. Some countries have taken a positiveforward step and banned smoking in all public places except in designated areasexcept designated areas. I strongly agree that all countries should make such rules to safeguard the lives of people.
Everyone agrees withto the fact that smoking is very harmful. It not only badly affects the health of smokers but also other people around themother people around him/her, mainly due to cigarette smoke. Applying the rules to smoke only in certain public areas will protect the non-smokers. FurthermoreFurther, some people have allergies towith smoke. Smoking in a public area may unintentionally trigger their allergic reactions which could be fatal. Moreover, designatedspecified smoking areas are designed in such a way that these areas would not have anything which could easily catch fire, so remains of cigarette litter may not be harmful.
Beyond national lawsRegardless of the country boundaries, this rule has already been applied by some industries like civil aviation. Smoking is prohibited on all passenger flights. Smoke detectors arehave already in place on all planes. Even plane lavatories have smoke detectors. Similarly, within the country boundaries, some organisations have implemented these rules, like a private bus system. Smoking is not allowed while people are on board. People are also not allowed to smoke while they are sitting at their deskson their desk in their offices. A place outside the office building usually near the parking areaalongside the parking is specified for smoking.
In the end, it is concluded that lawmakers of each country should make these rules to ban smokingbanish the smoking except in specific areasexcept in some specific areas mentioned earlier.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response maintains a clear position and supports the proposed smoking restrictions with relevant public-health and safety reasons. Its main weakness is that the later examples of bans on planes, buses, and in workplaces are listed descriptively rather than tied closely to the central argument. The highest-priority improvement is to give each body paragraph one controlling claim and explain explicitly how every example demonstrates wider public protection.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear and the essay gives relevant reasons for banning smoking in public places, though some examples become descriptive rather than fully argumentative.
Develop each reason by explaining how the rule protects the wider public, not just by listing places where bans exist.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing is clear and progression is mostly logical, but the third paragraph moves through aviation, buses, desks, and parking areas without a strong controlling point.
Begin each body paragraph with a clear claim and use examples only to support that claim.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is generally sufficient, with some effective topic words, but there are awkward collocations and imprecise verbs.
Replace memorised or unnatural phrases with precise legal and health vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar is mostly controlled, but article use, prepositions, and verb forms still cause noticeable errors.
Check articles before abstract nouns and use complete verb phrases.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
It has been proven that smoking kills. In some countries, it has been made illegal for people to smoke in all public places except in certain areas. All countries should make these rules. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.