Although it is widely recognized that cars damage the environment, their manufacture and use continue to increase. Why is this the case? How could this increase be controlled?
Sample Response
Across the globe, the automobile industry is booming, despite the fact that many people believe cars are damaging the environment. The following essay will discuss why this is occurring and what can be done to control the situation.
Cars continue to be manufactured these days because they are the most popular, comfortable, and efficient form of transportation that is available to most people. If there were a better option that was more affordable, more efficient, and more widely available, then the majority of people would obviously choose it. Although electric and hybrid cars are now becoming increasingly commonincreasingly more common, they are not currently as affordable or as available as conventional internal-combustion-engine vehiclesnormal combustion engine vehicles. Furthermore, the automotive and petroleum industries are multi-billion dollar industries in many countries around the world and provide millions of jobs for people and generate millions of dollars in taxes for governments, and therefore shutting those industries down would be a difficult process.
However, there are some strategies that could be implemented to try to curb this increasecontrol this issue. Firstly, governments can try to promote the use and manufacture of electric vehicles and other modes of transport that do not burn fossil fuels. Governments could fund further research into and development of electric automobilesresearch and design of electric automobiles that harness energy from the sun or that use other alternative forms of energy that do not pollute the earth. Governments can also encourage citizens to use bicycles more often by providing safe cycling zones on roadways to minimiseroadways, to minimise the risk of accidents with automobiles. Lastly, governments must expand public transport infrastructureincrease the public transportation infrastructure in their countries and encourage citizens to use it more often by making public transport affordable and efficientmaking it cheap and efficient.
In conclusion, the main reasons people continue to use cars arereasons that people continue to use cars is simply because it is the best option currently available for those who can afford them, and because the automobile and petroleum industries are so huge that it would cause many problems to simply shut them downdispose of them.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response fully addresses both causes and controls through well-developed, relevant arguments, and its clear paragraph structure makes the reasoning easy to follow. Language is varied and generally precise, with only occasional agreement issues and some repetition in long sentences. The highest-priority refinement is to tighten sentence construction and make the conclusion summarise the proposed controls as well as the causes.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are answered directly with well-extended explanations of consumer dependence, economic interests, cleaner vehicles, cycling, and public transport.
Complete the conclusion by briefly synthesising the principal control measures alongside the causes already restated.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are logically sequenced into focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the reader clearly with little strain.
Tighten the longest sentences and vary connective patterns to make an already clear progression even more economical.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary supports detailed discussion of transport, industry, infrastructure, and alternative energy with only minor repetition.
Reduce repeated comparative phrasing and choose more exact alternatives to broad terms such as issue, situation, and problems.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used with strong control, while occasional subject-verb agreement and pronoun-number errors do not impede communication.
Proofread agreement in sentences where singular reasons or options are followed by plural references or coordinated clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Although it is widely recognized that cars damage the environment, their manufacture and use continue to increase. Why is this the case? How could this increase be controlled?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.